The Chronic Curmudgeon

February 28, 2007

Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen

“I realized a long time ago that I am getting old. I realized for the first time last night that this is not such a bad thing.”

I started my first “real” post on this blog with those words. They seem appropriate to end the blog with as well.

How things have changed in the three and a half years since “Christopher’s Take” -- which would eventually become “The Chronic Curmudgeon” -- was born. I did that entry from south Florida, in the middle of a situation borne of rash judgment that would eventually prove a mistake, and working as a speechwriter who was doing good work and attracting some notice inside his company but was still an amoeba on the corporate food chain. I’m doing this entry on my last day in New York before leaving to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond, though on a bigger planet (wow, let that be a lesson to anyone trying to make a point with metaphors... they're hard to mix effectively!).

This blog, which as I’ve said ad nauseum I started as writing practice and creative outlet and nothing more, turned into the vehicle that drove my career, drove my personal life, and helped me to greatly enhance my financial status (I‘ll be making more than two and a half times this year what I was making when I started it, God bless America). Not bad for something the Doc had to talk me into doing, huh?

But just as in that first post, I am still getting older. Old enough -- or is it mature enough? -- to recognize that in some cases, it’s not always prudent to have your inner monologue or thoughts about the world out there for anyone to see. I’m old enough -- or is it wise enough? -- to know when it’s time to step aside.

There was a long time where I would have considered any nod to propriety a defeat; I was going to be me and say what I had to say no matter what the stuffier elements of the world thought of it. When I started this blog, I would have argued that the idea of shutting it down -- I mean, going on indefinite hiatus, of course -- because of the professional role I play would represent a sell-out of the most treasonous and self-betraying order.

But today I don’t; today I just feel like I have grown up to the point where I don’t feel the need to stand out in order to stand apart. I’m wise enough to have recognized that sometimes there’s valor in knowing when not to speak my mind. Is that selling out? Am I really the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit now? Perhaps. But I’m thinking of it now more in terms of acting my age.

The way you act when you’re on your way up is different than the way you act when you get there. And I’m honestly looking forward to the less rebellious phase of my life. This move I am making was done in part because I’m looking to take care of my new family -- both its existing members and any who happen to come along in the next few years. And I kind of like that feeling, to be honest with you. I wasn’t ready for it a few years ago, but I am ready for it now. I think I’m ready to leave the Curmudgeon behind, not just in the blogosphere but in life. And I think that’s a good thing, don’t you?

I am incredibly fortunate to have had this blog; few people get to have such a detailed time capsule of the part of their life where everything fell into place for them. Fewer still get to have a personal hobby turn into the rocket that propels them to places and levels they never expected to go. I got lucky. And you, every single one of you who’s been reading along with me, have been part of that for me - in a very real sense, I owe what’s happening to me now to all of you. So thank you.

To all of you who have read or commented since the summer of 2003, I am in your debt. To those who read and as a result decided to elevate and promote my career, I’m even more deeply indebted. To Doc, who today takes great delight in correctly pointing out that he not only got me into blogging but had to talk me into starting this one, I offer this public acknowledgment and a thanks for strapping the Acme Rocket Jet-Pack to my career.

As I said earlier in the week, I’ll have a more personal blog hidden behind a password to keep friends and family up on things in my new home. It’s actually set up already and is just waiting for me to get settled in and start updating. If you want to get the password and be able to keep in touch through that blog, send me a note at thechroniccurmudgeon@hotmail.com and I’ll send you the instructions to access it. Or, if you’d rather do things the old-fashioned way, send me a note to the same e-mail address and I’ll send you a “real” e-mail address and AIM ID to reach me at. If you’d prefer to do neither, I’m tempted to ask if I smell bad or have boogers hanging from my nose or something. (If you’ve already e-mailed and I haven’t yet gotten to you with the password or responded to you, I beg your indulgence while I get moved.)

Maybe Mudge will come back someday… it’s always possible that I’ll get settled into my new gig and figure out that it’s still sometimes okay to air the occasional opinion. Or maybe my fifteen minutes are closer to up than I realized and, kind of like the janitor in Flowers for Algernon, I’ll slide back into my previous levels of simplicity and anonymity and be able to say whatever I want without anyone knowing or caring. But for now, this blog -- and the wonderful run in my life that it represents and helped to generate -- is officially on hiatus. I’ll still be reading all of your blogs and will still be commenting, though -- you’re not rid of me that easily! Please stay in touch; I do consider you my friends and don’t want to lose contact with you all. And once again, thank you for reading for the past three and a half years.

Ladies and gentlemen… the Curmudgeon has left the building.

February 27, 2007

The 59 Best One Hit Wonders Ever: #2-1

2. The Boomtown Rats - "I Don't Like Mondays" (1979) Yes, I know they had a string of top ten hits in the UK. But in the US, this was it -- this sad commentary inspired by US school shootings (god bless the NRA -- after all, it's important to protect our right to slaughter each other in cold blood). 16 year old Brenda Ann Spencer's father had given her a rifle for Christmas (now there's fatherly love for ya!), and merely a month later Spencer took it to school and slaughtered kids for no reason. Literally no reason; when asked why she did it, she issued the famous statement that became this song's title. The song captures the aimlessness, senselessness, absurdity and horror of the moment (not to mention the dozens others since) and the lost innocence they represent.

The Rats' never hit bigger here in the States, despite their success in the UK; even this song was only a minor chart success. But more than 25 years on, it stands out as a classic of post-punk (can't bring myself to call it new wave, though I don't know what I would call it, then). The staccato call-and-respond of the chorus... the epic or grand nature of the opening swell... the unusual-for-its-era violin and piano driven melody... the haunting line about the lesson today being how to die... it all adds up to a classic song from a band for whom it was the sole US hit, and thus the #2 OHW ever.

1. The Buggles - "Video Killed The Radio Star" (1979) We all know how this was the first video ever played on MTV, and the lore that rose up around that moment and the symbolism of the song's title in that use. But leave the (admittedly cool) video out of it for a second... this is a really, really cool song. True, if there'd never been a video clip, it would never have captured the imagination so deeply... but "Radio Star" is a very well constructed song - from opening to bridge to build to closing fade-out. And choosing to use the kind of distortion on the vocals that made them sound like they were coming out of an old grammaphone was a nice touch that added to the distinctiveness and air of the tune. One of my favorite songs ever, and far and away my number one One Hit Wonder of all time.

February 26, 2007

The 59 Best One Hit Wonders Ever: #5-3

5. Seven Mary Three - Cumbersome (1995) My absolute favorite of the post-grunge mid-90s rock. I know that at least a few of you are going to say, "Yeah, it's a good song... but all the way up at #5?" My answer is, "Yes. Number five. I love this song that much." Any questions? I was surprised that, of all the disposable post-grunge heroes, Seven Mary Three was one of the ones who never managed another hit; this was as promising as any debut single of the past 20 years. Bummer.

4. The Verve - "Bitter Sweet Symphony" (1998) The song that led to the situation that led to me losing a whole lot of respect for Keith Richards and Mick Jagger. The Verve's 1998 opus was a breakout hit in the US and seemed to open the door for the band; the album the song was on, "Urban Hymns" was one of the best albums of 1998. And yet the band was broken up just a year and a half later, and the promise was never fulfilled. What happened?

Well, while there were many factors in the band's split, a major stress was the fact that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards -- you know, those notably poor and destitute down-on-their-luck guys wh desperately needed the money -- decided to sue the band for copyright infringement. The song was based on a loop of an instrumental version of the Stones' 1965 song "The Last Time." While the band had in fact negotiated for the use of the sample and had actually received permission to use it, when the song became a huge international hit, Richards and Jagger decided that the song used "too much" of the sample, and sued to be listed as the song's composers and for all the royalties from the song. Stupider still was that a UK court agreed with them and awarded composer credits to them and all the proceeds to the Rolling Stones' publisher, ABKCO. You know, because they needed the money.

The irony is that, as Verve singer RIchard Ashcroft wryly noted, Symphony was "the best song Jagger and Richards have written in the last 20 years." As it stands, the song now exists as a monument to the unfettered greed and hubris of two giants who should have known better.

3. David and David - "Welcome To The Boomtown" (1986) The video's disappeared from YouTube, which is a shame because this was an overlooked gem and classic from the 80s that deserves to be spread around and remembered despite record company greed. One of the best songs of the 80s, "Boomtown"s depiction of the ugly underside of the glam and glitz of the 80s in Los Angeles is not just a great tune musically, it's one of the best stories told through lyrics in the past 25 years. You get a definite feel and image when you hear the lyrics; it's almost a movie-like feel to listen to it. Another group with a hugely promising first single that never took off the way they should have.

February 24, 2007

Going, Going...

I'm getting close to the end of the Best One Hit Wonders countdown. I'm also getting close to the end of this blog.

I alluded a couple of weeks ago to having taken a huge, life-changing, no turning back kind of step. The day of reckoning for that step, as it were, is almost at hand. Its arrival has ramifications for this blog as well as my real life. I've said before here that while, for the first seven of my eight years based in New York I hated it and didn't like my life here and wanted to go somewhere else (even going so far as to chase what Obi-Wan Kenobi might have called a "damnfool idealistic crusade" in warmer climates that, in hindsight, was less of what I thought it was but instead represented the strength of my wish to leave and the extent to which I let that wish cloud my judgment), in the past year I have grown into my skin for a number of reasons and have actually become happy with my life here.

I am acutely aware of the irony of choosing change now that I'm finally content; as my mother is fond of saying, "if there's a path of most resistance, you will find it... you never do anything the easy way." But that's just what I've done: after struggling for years to be happy in this area and finally becoming so, I've chosen to throw a massive monkey wrench into the works just to see what would happen.

I have accepted a new job -- a pretty prominent and visible one -- with a new employer (one of the world's biggest, actually). I start next week... more than 600 miles away from New York. After swearing that I would never again return to the midwest, that's exactly where I'm going -- and to a city that I never would have even ever considered that I might one day live in until very recently. The next week will be a jumble of corporate movers, signing papers, and changing physical locations, before starting the new job and new life in early March.

There are many good things about the move: financially the move vaults me to levels I never thought I'd ever make; professionally it represents not a huge step but a leapfrogging; the visibility and opportunity for me are incredible. This is, in a very real sense, the break I worked my whole career to get -- and at 38, I've now become an executive at one of the biggest companies anywhere in the world. I may have worked hard for this, but I'm also damed lucky -- blessed, some might say -- and I'm hoping to live up to the faith that's been shown in me (by both current and future employers).

It was probably not always appropriate for me to maintain the Mudge blog in the position I've been in for the last couple of years, even as a semi-anonymous personality. (My bosses were great about it, I have to say.) But as my position and reputation have evolved, it's become increasingly easy to connect this blog with the real-life me (witness how easily people at my new job were able to find me here). And if "the Mudge" wasn't really appropriate before, he certainly isn't as I take on this new, even higher-profile gig. And if I tempered the kinds of things I say out here, knowing that people can rather easily find me and in the interest of discretion... well, then I wouldn't really be the Mudge anymore, and that would negate the purpose for being out here. So, it's time.

I know better than to ever say "never." So I'll just say that Mudge is going on indefinite hiatus as soon as the OHW countdown is over. It won't be easy. I have come to really enjoy the "regulars" here and have been writing as much for you as for myself for a while now (or trying to). And shutting the door on the thing that has literally made it possible for my dreams to come true? It's like moving out of a house you lived in for 40 years and raised your kids in. You might be excited to head to Scottsdale or Boca Raton, but you're still terribly saddened when you lock the door for the last time, hand the key to your realtor and drive away.

It's always possible, I guess, that Mudge could be back. I've grown addicted to being him, and the name has crossed into my real life, with my friends calling me "Mudge" as often as using my real name. And there will always be things that make me want to vent or write. But discretion really must now be the better part of my valor. I think that means that I have to retire the persona that brought me to the dance.

I will be starting a new blog, but it won't be like this one. With family on two continents, friends on three, and friends and loved ones in the US scattered from coast to coast, staying in touch with everybody will be challenging -- and a blog seems easier and more personal than those mass e-mails. I'll password-protect it, so that only people I've chosen to let see it can see it... and it'll be more just a series of intermittent updates on how life is going in my new home, adventures I'm having along the way, and so on. It'll be a lot more personal and a lot less political, less oriented toward writing for a (hopefully) broad audience and more toward a "letter to a friend" style.

Regular readers here are now considered friends, so any of you who think of me as such and actually want to keep up with me are welcome to; send me an e-mail at thechroniccurmudgeon@hotmail.com and I'll send you the URL and instructions on how to access it. (Be warned that I won't be writing for at least a week due to the move.)

I'll finish the OHW countdown, and then will be back with one last post to say goodbye. Just wanted to give you a heads up that, as the guy in the sandwich board always said, "The End Is Near." Have a great weekend, all.

The 59 Best One Hit Wonders Ever: #8-#6

8. Big Country - "In A Big Country" (1983) An 80s classic power pop tune with the additonal sonic trick of making their guitars sound like bagpipes. Funny, since their music incorporated a lot of Scottish folk elements, none of the band were Scottish by birth. The video is perhaps the only top ten video ever to feature an ATV chase. There's probably a reason for that. Nonetheless, a great song from the early 80s.

7. Dishwalla - "Counting Blue Cars" (1996) Another great song that you can't access on line due to recording company stupidity and greed. But mid-90s post-grunge has few better poster children than this meaning of life song that presupposes God as a woman and features one of the catchiest hooks of the decade. I remain surprised that Dishwalla never managed a second hit; this was as strong a first big single as anyone had in the 90s, and this band should have been bigger. Maybe it was the name? Anyway, click here if you want to hear the song, for some kid's mashup to the song since the real video's not available.

6. M - "Pop Muzik" (1979) Pre-rap? New Wave? Performance art? Whatever you call it, Englishman Robin Scott landed one of the post-disco era's most infectious singles as his alter ego/collaboration, "M." The catchy chorus and memorable bridge ("New York, London, Paris, Munich, everybody talk about: Pop Muzik") make it almost easy to overlook the idea that this is a really good song musically, and by sounding electronic and mechanized is in fact a wry comment on the disposable nature of so much pop music. Great tune - and one of the first mainstream non-performance videos.