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November 15, 2003
1) I had a friend
1) I had a friend in town this week, a friend who is also close with some other people I work with here in New York. As you might expect, the group of us decided to go to dinner in Manhattan. But somewhere between the hatching of this idea and its execution, a funny thing happened. I was vicitimized by the Food Snobs.
You know them. If you've ever spent any time in New York, you've probably been a victim as well. Their defining characteristic is that they are missing the gene that allows them to enjoy themselves without being conspicuous or spending extravagently. They're the ones who don't want to go to a place unless a) it's been written up in Hipster Wannabe magazine; b) the chef is famous; or c) someone hip and trendy has been seen there. (Note: it's not enough for a famous person to have eaten there - the famous person must be hip and trendy.) And of course, the other prerequisite is that the place must be expensive enough where the Great Unwashed Masses can't afford to eat there.
Don't get me wrong - I have no problem paying a lot of money for a meal out in a restaurant - IF it's outstanding food and I am truly paying for the meal. But I do not want - and will never understand the desire - to be ridiculously overcharged merely for the pretense that the name and atmosphere of a place allows. If I pay $150 for dinner for two because the meal is worth it, fine. If I pay $170 for dinner for two because the chef was just profiled in TimeOut New York, or because Leonardo diCaprio ate there last week and the place is full of black-clad, hipper-than-thou types, well... that's utterly ridiculous.
But they make it worse, these Food Snobs. It's not just that they want to be seen more than they want to dine. No, their true foul is that they do not believe a meal CAN be good unless theyve been overcharged for it. Want to find a little hole in the wall ethnic place that might have escaped Zagats, but is the best thing going? Forget it. How about just popping into a little pub for a burger and beers? Not with these folks around. Nope, if you're not in hipster wannabe lighting and paying at least $12 for an appetizer and $30 minimum for an entree, the Food Snob will not play. (Yes, one of the people in our party actually griped that the places we were suggesting weren't "expensive enough" - and we were told that if we didn't select someplace trendy enough, this person would be crabby and would likely make our evening difficult.)
I'm not sure what their problem is. Maybe their self-esteem is so low that they feel they have to be in a place where other faux hipster wannabes go, to reinforce their own wannabe cool status. Maybe they have the opposite issue - maybe they honestly think that they're better than everyone else, and want this "fact" reinforced by going to places that are specifically designed to keep the masses out by virtue of their cost. Whatever it is, I find it to be the kind of pretense and falseness, the kind of egocentrism, that reminds me of everything I hate about New York. Hi, let's go prove how much better we are than everyone else by spending more money than they have! No, wait - I have a better idea... let's go prove to ourselves that we really are cool, not as dorky as we secretly believe ourselves to be, by going to places where OTHER people with the same self-image issues go in order to feel better about themselves!
Give me a break. Don't worry, my friends... you can count on me to carry the flag of irreverancy tonight. I have every intention of showing up tonight in jeans, a flannel shirt, and a John Deere cap with a ridiculous bend in the rim. If I can't get the Food Snobs to go to someplace just because the food's good, then I am going to embarass them into submission at their wannabe hoidy toidy place. I'm going about my mission - making the world safe for regular people.
