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January 29, 2004
NO WMD, NO SHOES, NO PROBLEM
Hey, kids! Have you started a war that largely benefits the friends who put you in power? Did you convince the world that you were justified by lying and saying that your nemesis possessed Weapons of Mass Destruction? Did you put intense pressure on your own intelligence community to produce information that supported your premise, and did you disregard all evidence that conflicted with what you wanted to hear? And are you now facing embarrassing questions because even your own inspector has quit and told the Congress that no WMD ever existed? Did he actually use the words, "we were almost all wrong?"
No problem! Not with new Blame-B-Gon! Our patented formula allows you to hypocritically blame the very intelligence agencies you pressured into giving you the bad intelligence in the first place! Better yet, with Blame-B-Gon , you can shamefully let the only world leader who you didn't permanently alienate take the fall for you - and never have to face the music at home! And when those pesky Democrats start trying to demand that an outside investigator - one whose first priority isn't making you look good - be appointed to determine just why you fouled things up so badly, you can refuse to allow an outside review - even when your own former chief inspector says that he thinks it's a good idea!
Other blame shifting products cost billions - and they never deliver quite what they promise. But all new Blame-B-Gon is guaranteed to work!
How much would you pay for a product that allows you to blatantly lie to the American people, thumb your nose at the United Nations, and turn most of the world against us in only two years - and still have the gall to ask for re-election? Billions? Trillions? Well, in this special limited time offer, you pay only $200 million! That's right, for just the cost of the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign fund, you can have Blame-B-Gon work wonders for your public image. Lie, cheat, steal - and never pay the price!
And if you act now, we'll throw in this Halliburton price-gouging kit - a $61 million dollar value - ABSOLUTELY FREE! That's right - you get to hang George Tenet and Tony Blair out to dry with Blame-B-Gon, AND get to have your friends overcharge the US government, and not be held the slightest bit accountable! But act now - quantities of Blame-B-Gon are limited, and supplies are running out!
To order, send check or Iraq contract request to: Blame-B-Gon, c/o the Bush Ranch, Crawford Texas. Not valid in the northeast or California. Offer expires on November 2, 2004.
