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April 22, 2004
I ATE HIS LIVER... WITH SOME FAVA BEANS AND A NICE CHALUPA
A tamale chef in western Mexico has found a great new secret ingredient for his concoctions. Unfortunately for him (and his customers), the ingredient turns out to be illegal: his drinking buddy.
Authorities are uncertain whether Carlos Machuca was actually making tamales or merely trying to dispose of the body of his friend. What is indisputable is this: Officers found a man's mutilated corpse in the living room and body parts simmering in aluminum saucepans on the patio, state prosecutors told Reuters.
No word on whether officers Jose Pembry and Juan Burke are guarding him. Also no word on whether the victim's name was Benjamin Raspail.
I think the best thing about this story, however, was turned in by the reporter. After discussing how Machuca stabbed his buddy through the heart while drinking together, and repeating authorities' suspicions about what was in last night's special at Machuca's restaurant... the reporter follows up with an explanation of how tamales are normally made! What, this is just in case a reader happens upon the story and gets a craving or feels hungry after reading it? "Hmm, that was an awful story about cannibalism ... but now that you mention it, a tamale would just be smashing right about now?" And they say journalism is a dying art!
Oh, and Senator?? Love your suit.
