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May 12, 2004
ALL WE GOT WAS THE CONDOM ON THE BANANA!
Man, sex education sure has changed! When I was in school, I had the nervous, balding, fumbling, blushing wrestling coach/health teacher struggling to put a condom on a banana to demonstrate how it's properly done. Twenty years later, the United Kingdom has taken a slightly more intriguing approach to preventing teen pregnancy: encouraging teens to perform oral sex. They're even giving lessons in school!
Encouraging schoolchildren to experiment with oral sex could prove the most effective way of curbing teenage pregnancy rates, a government study has found.
Okay, maybe I am glad that I didn't have to see my former wrestler/health teacher demonstrate technique on this subject. But man, how big is the smile on the faces of every British teenage boy right now? And how ticked off are we all that we grew up when we did and where we did, and not in England in 2004? Given how challenging it can be to convince American adult women... how come British teenagers get to have all the fun? What have they given us since the Beatles split up? The Bay City Rollers? Robbie Williams? Right Said Fred? Hardly deserving of such a gloried fate, wouldn't you say?
Despite my much-ballyhooed, long-standing drought on a personal level, I do believe that it's my responsibility to encourage as much of this behavior as possible. A note to all my readers: be sure to do your homework tonight! (Book reports not required, but are welcome.)
