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July 25, 2004
GETTING OLD SUCKS
True incident that occurred at a party I attended Saturday evening at a colleague & friend's home. We'll call ourhostess"Sally." The incident actually occurred while I was talking to another colleague & friend; we'll call my conversation partner "Annie." I may not have it word for word, but I'm pretty close; the gist of the conversation went something like this:
Mudge: Hey, Annie.
Annie: Hi, Chris.
Mudge: Who was that you were just talking to?
Annie:Who?
Mudge: The really cute woman in the blue top and the denim skirt.Who is that?
Annie: That's Sally's baby sister.
Mudge:Wow. I saw you talking with her just now; you're going to introduce us now, right?
Annie: When I said, "baby sister," I wasn't kidding.
Mudge: Huh?
Annie: Chris, she's 19. She just finished her freshman year of college.
Mudge: Oh. (deflated pause) Is there any more of that crab dip?
I retreated to my spot in the corner to ponder the fact that I'd just been ogling a girl who had been born when I was a senior in high school.
Being old sucks, man.
