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July 20, 2004

STEP INTO MY PARLOR, SAID THE PEDOPHILE TO THE BUTTON-FLY


In the long and varied history of bad ideas, there've been some doozies. New Coke springs to mind. So do the XFL, the Maginot Line, reality television, and going to John Wayne Gacy's house to see the funny clown. But I think this idea takes the cake as the worst one ever.

But a spokeswoman for Us Weekly said the magazine stood by its story, which cited unnamed sources close to Jackson as saying he recently spent time in Florida with an identified woman who was pregnant with quads she was to bear for the singer.

Hmmm... here's a guy who at worst has habitually and serially molested little boys for much of his adult life, and at best is one strange, whacked out, Diana Ross-looking freak. What do we do with him? Oh! I know! ... Let's let him adopt four more children from some surrogate! That's a good idea! That's exactly what we should do!


On second thought, I have a better idea. Let's go replace the Charmin with barbed wire, and then later we can take a long bath in tobasco sauce! Yeah, that'd be really great!

If this story is true, and the Florida authorities allow this adoption to continue, they should all not only lose their jobs, but should be put on trial as well for child endangerment.

Posted by Christopher on July 20, 2004 10:35 PM

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