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July 17, 2004
THE MOST FRIGHTENING STORY IN THE HISTORY OF THE PLANET
Stephen King can retire now. Dean Koontz, step aside. Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Kevin Williamson... sit down. The horror genre is now officially dead, never to return -- the most frightening story in human history has now been told.
Crazed Surgeon Amputates Patient's Penis, Chops It Up
A Romanian surgeon who underwent a fit of madness while operating on a man's testicles proceeded to amputate his penis and cut it into three pieces.
The surgeon, Naum Ciomu, was said to be a senior member of the hospital staff and a professor of anatomy.He had been operating on a 34-year-old man for a testicular malformation when he committed the act, hospital officials said Friday.
Note to self: never, ever consent to general anaesthetic ever again.Ever.
Ever.
And just like all great horror stories, there is the inexplicably stupid reaction... you know, like when the teens at the camp learn that a serial killer is on the loose, they naturally wander off into the woods by themselves to look for their boyfriend or find just the right tree to water?
In this case of adult-onset circumcision, we have the following statement from the hospital: "We are shocked by what has happened. It is the first time we have had such a case," said Sorin Oprescu, head of the Bucharest emergency hospital where the operation took place.
Really? The first time?! That's a relief... of course, Dr. Oprescu is sorely mistaken if he thinks any spin or apology is going to lessen the damage to that hospital's reputation.
But the best line in the whole story comes at the end... one of those delightfully understated lines where you know the reporter was just cracking himself up and wanting desperately to write more than he could.
Meanwhile the wife of the unfortunate patient said she was suing Dr. Ciomu.
