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August 30, 2004
ANOTHER VICTIM OF LUCAS-ITIS
There is a sad disease that often afflicts Hollywood types... the main symptom is not being able to leave well enough alone. George Lucas is sort of the Lou Gehrig of this syndrome, being its most famous sufferer and lending his name to the disease. When afflicted, directors of perfectly good films suddenly decide - often up to a decade later or more - that they should make a sequel to one of their films. The problems with this are:
-- the work's original audience has grown up, and so no one out there now was crying out to learn the next chapter
-- the director often has gotten fat and happy and lazy in Hollywood and thusly relies completely on nostalgia and CGI in place of actual plot or storytelling.
Lucas is beyond hope; his case is terminal. Now, one of my all time favorites -- Kevin Smith -- appears to be infected as well. 1994's "Clerks" was one of the funniest, most original films of the 90s. So what should we do? That's right, kids... write a sequel and begin shooting it in January 2005!
Why, God? Why?
Look, if anyone can pull this off, it'll be Smith. And I have to give him credit... the working title, "The Passion of The Clerks," is pretty damn funny. But I have to think he caught lightning in a bottle when the original was committed to film... and that this or any other sequel will merely cheapen the original, much as everything George Lucas has done since 1981 has cheapened the legacy of Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back.
Kevin... buddy... please remember, man... you can't go home again.






