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September 26, 2004
ROWBOAT VETERANS FOR TRUTH
The liberal media has claimed for more than 200 years that George Washington was a patriot and the father of our country.
Because of the liberal agenda, our schoolchildren are taught that George Washington was a war hero, and that he crossed the Delaware River on Christmas Night, 1776 in a daring overnight holiday raid.
But it's time you knew the truth.
The Website, "Rowboat Veterans For Truth" (unaffliated with the Bush campaign, we promise) unveils the liberal deception surrounding Washington's alleged military heroism and experience.
His campaign wagons about a handful of Revolutionary veterans throughout the 13 States, and trots them out at public appearances to sing his praises. George Washington wants us to believe that these men represent all those he calls his "rowboat band of brothers." But if bother you ask his boat mates, they'll tell you. The truth is, the man is unfit for command, and as president he would quite literally leave our young nation up the creek, without a paddle.
Pay special attention, friends, to the "Myth vs. Truth" section... you'll learn a lot about who George Washington really is. For example,
Myth: George Washington raised morale across the Colonies after his surprise raid on the Hessian garrison.
FACT: It was Christmas and morale was already high. This little publicity stunt against a few unarmed drunken Germans was performed only so Washington could get his name in the newspapers.
Myth: The rowboats transporting the Americans struggled across a river choked with dangerous chunks of ice.
FACT: Ice is easily pulverized with a good whack of a paddle.
My friends, the only true war hero in this country is George W. Bush. The fact that he never went to war, and doesn't seem to ever have bothered to show up for his stateside duty in Alabama, is irrelevant. (Why are you asking questions about that? Don't you love freedom?) The only way to protect America is to vote for Bush. The only way to be an American is to vote for Bush, and think only the things and believe only the beliefs that George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Tom DeLay, and Ed Gillespie tell you to. If you're still supporting George Washington, then you just don't love your country, you pinko, freedom-hating, America-hating liberal trash!
