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May 24, 2005
The 100 "Greatest?"
Never a publication to miss a timely feature, Time Magazine enlisted its film critics, Richard Corliss and Richard Schickel, to name their 100 greatest films of all time... only ten weeks after I listed my top 21, and seven years after the American Film Institute named its 100 greatest ever.
Time's list is disappointing in so many ways to me. First of all, it's only in alphabetical order. What the hell? What's the point of having a top 100 list if you're not going to rank them? I mean, seriously?! This is America -- everything's a competition! We don't want to see a damn list unless there's a #100 (the loser) and a #1 (the winner)! None of this 'honor just to be on the list' crap - give us a clear hierarchy of greatness! We don't get lists any other way!
Second of all, I've only seen 17 of the films they list among their top 100. This may be because I am an uncultured philistine when it comes to movies. Or, it may be because Time's critics seem to have received a mandate that American movies can only be considered after all foreign films have been eliminated; more than half the films on the list are foreign films.
I realize that my next statement makes me an ugly American with no sensitivity whatsoever and the culture of a trailer park, but 99.9999% of foreign films are freaking boring and stupid. They're like watching three hours of Calvin Klein commercials. Either that, or it's some English period piece featuring Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins prattling on about some afternoon tea. And the only thing worse than sitting through them are the Americans you have to sit through them with -- pretentious, dress-in-black, faux existentialist, eurotrash wannabes who seem to feel that watching boring and pretentious cinema is necessary penance for Americans for inflicting the fast food culture on the world. Sorry - no valid top 100 list can include more than 12 foreign films (and that's only as a nod to my Scottish friend McRob -- otherwise I'd limit it to three).
Thirdly, of the 17 on their list I have seen, only nine would make my list. A couple of theirs might make my Worst 100 list. Farewell My Concubine, for example, might well have been the worst film I have ever been forced to sit through. It was so bad, my friend Irina -- who is far more cultured than I and has much more artistic sense than I -- agreed to turn off the VCR and find something else to watch only 1/3 of the way through the film. That piece of junk wasn't worth the cardboard box it came in.
Time and I agree on only the nine following: Blade Runner, Chinatown, Citizen Kane, It's A Wonderful Life, The Manchurian Candidate, Pulp Fiction, Schindler's List, Singin' In The Rain, and A Streetcar Named Desire. Beyond that, Time's list sucks. (It even lists Finding Nemo among the top 100 of all time! Finding f'n Nemo????) For the record, the AFI and I agreed on 27; I've seen 46 of theirs.
If I hadn't just done my top 21, I'd be tempted to get into my top 100 as a rebuttal. (By the way, for anyone who remembers my Best Movie Quotes Ever series from last summer... the AFI is copying me next month. Think I can sue?
Comments
There are several "great films" I've never seen -- many are on my Netflix list. Some are Bonnie & Clyde, Chinatown and On The Waterfront. I'm making my own list & I can't wait to see the AFI quotes. So many "best" movie quotes are ridiculous out of context.
BTW: Working on my "best" list -- up to 60 w/o stopping ;)
Posted by: eden at May 25, 2005 10:37 AM
No worries Mudge... I've only seen 46 of them (your comment forced me to count too) but yet I feel no wiser... go figure.
Posted by: pe magnet at May 25, 2005 01:31 PM
Is Heavy Metal on their list (I'm unwilling to click on the link)?
Posted by: Mike at May 25, 2005 02:31 PM
