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August 20, 2005
Pastafarians, Unite!!
Last week I blogged about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and how Kansas schools should really start teaching about how the FSM (peace be unto him) is responsible for Intelligent Design. I am proud to bring you this update, courtesy of Boing Boing.
First of all, our religion has a name, friends. We are Pastafarians. Secondly, there is an official description of our religion and its beliefs in Wikipedia; I suggest you go to it and familarize yourself with the tentacles -- I mean tenets -- of our faith, lest you never be touched by His Noodly Appendage. Specifically, you should note the following:
* Prayers are ended with the word Ramen rather than Amen.
* Followers are expected to dress in full pirate regalia.
* Like the great noodles they worship, Flying Spaghetti Monsterists have flimsy moral standards.
* Religious holiday every Friday.
* Promise of a stripper factory and a beer volcano in Heaven.
A stripper factory?! Man, screw the 72 virgins (uh, let's make that "who needs the 72 virgins!") -- virgins don't know what they're doing anyway. Pastafarianism offers much better eternal rewards! A stripper factory?! And a beer volcano? I am ready to become a martyr for the Noodly Cause! Especially if the strippers have Angel Hair.
Adherents to Pastafariaism have been beset with persecution and harrassment, most notably in this entry from Boing Boing. But even though they've capped the reward fund at $1,000,000 "intelligently designed" dollars, I am still going to add my tithe to the cause; I will give $200,000* to anyone who can "produce empirical evidence which proves that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster." (As with Boing Boing's offer, my dollars must be "intelligently designed" and this offer is void where prohitbited by logic.)
Finally, friends... I wanted to share with you the image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This painting was done by Vermicelli and is a fresco on the ceiling of the Linguini Chapel in Rome. (The image is so large that it won't fit on my blog, so here's a link to it as a pop-up.)
Comments
I like this new religion, but does it always have to end in religion? Can't some of these other theories of evolution end in a new branch of science? Pastafarology maybe?
Posted by: Bob Davis at August 20, 2005 02:34 PM
Oh man, that's the best religion ever.
Posted by: Sarah at August 20, 2005 05:49 PM
Bob - we're in George W. Bush's America... *everything* has to end in religion! Don't you get it? :-) Thanks for stopping by, and for the link to your very interesting blog. (Everyone else reading, Bob's worth checking out.)
Sarah - I agree. Think we can get jobs as Pastafarian televangelists?
Posted by: Curmudgeon at August 21, 2005 01:23 AM
Oh man, I'd totally be the first to sign up.
"Can you FEEL the Power of the SAUCE? FEEL THE SAUCE! FEEL THE POWER!!!!"
Posted by: Sarah at August 21, 2005 11:16 PM
Praise the flying spaghetti monster, ramen.
Posted by: phlexxo at August 23, 2005 08:15 AM
