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December 30, 2005
2005 In Review: Ten Things That Sucked This Year
I can't very well go by the persona of "Curmudgeon" without focusing at least a little on things that sucked over the course of the last year now, can I? Here's my list of the top ten things that represented the sludge of humanity and the scourge of the earth -- in other words, things that really sucked in 2005. (As always, read the top three here and click through for the next seven.)
3. Mother Nature. A tsunami that kills 275,000 people? Three Cat 5 hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico the year after four hurricane strikes on Florida in a seven week span? A major hurricane that wipes one of America's most colorful cities basically off the map? A devastating earthquake that kills 70,000 in the Indian subcontinent? Geez, Mother Nature's a total bitch, isn't she? And as much as I want to rail at the idiot in the White House for ignoring the blatant signs of global warming, I can't blame him for earthquakes and hurricanes and tsunamis; those are all on Gaia herself.
2. The response to Katrina. Whether due to sheer incompetence (Kathleen Blanco) or criminal negligence (Michael Brown), authorities at every level -- federal, state, and local -- failed the citizens of New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. The sight of thousands of American citizens laying around in fetid, stinking buildings with no food or water should haunt our country for years; it was inexcusable. Almost as inexcusable was George W. Bush's insistence in the early going that everything was going fine; who will ever forget "You're doing a heckuva job, Brownie?" At least Gov. Blanco and Mayor Nagin admitted to the fiasco as it happened, rather than re-living their drunken college days and complimenting those who'd royally screwed up. And if anyone ever believed George W. Bush's absurd claim that he can protect our country better than anyone else, his abominable performance during this disaster -- and that of the unqualified cronies he's placed in positions of authority all across his government -- thoroughly, laughably, and tragically exposed that utter lie.
1. The Democrats. What, you ask? A self-professed lefty such as myself not only saying that the Democrats sucked, but naming them the number one thing that sucked all year? You're damn right. We have a corrupt and vile president whose administration has engaged in systematic deception and violations of the law -- be it lying about Saddam's weapons of mass destruction that we knew did not exist, to deliberately leaking the name of a covert CIA agent simply to extract political revenge, to violating the Constitutional rights of American citizens and then defiantly insisting that he would continue to do so. His crony-filled administration horribly bungled the response to the worst natural disaster in US history, and frighteningly exposed the utter unpreparedness of our federal government to deal with large-scale disasters like the ones that are probably coming from another al Qaeda attack somewhere in the future (attacks made more likely by the fact that Zippy the Wonder Chimp got us all sidetracked and distracted in Iraq instead of finishing the fight with bin Laden and al Qaeda). Bush's approval ratings hover near 40% as the country realizes what an absolute liar and charlatan he really is. In this environment, not only should Democratic prospects for 2006 be soaring, but the country should frankly be clamoring for an impeachment of this criminal president.
That's not what's happening, and it's the fault of the Democrats. The party is bereft of leadership and seemingly bereft of ideas. And when all you have to offer the American people is, "We're not Bush," that's not going to be good enough, even when Bush is a treasonous criminal who should be on trial for crimes against the American people. For people to want to replace they devil they know, they have to actually have a sense that they're replacing him with something. And the Democrats, even in this highly fertile environment, come up with one huge vaccuum. There is no fresh idea; there is no idealistic leader standing up to defend his or her country against the crimes being perpetrated upon it; there is no will to actually do something meaningful or offer a real alternative. Nancy Pelosi is a veritable void in the House; Howard Dean, while I love what he says and the truths about Republicans he points out, is simply playing a polarizing figure who is all about the nyaah-nyaah and none about offering tangible policy alternatives. In the Senate, Harry Reid managed one moment of leadership all year in forcing closed session Senate hearings on Iraq intelligence, but other than that he's been uninspiring.
There's no excuse for polls that find Democratic chances in the House and Senate in 2006 to be even at best. The biggest criminal ever to hold the presidency now occupies the White House, and a veritable rogues gallery populates his administration. The American people should be calling for impeachment, should be demanding accountability, should be lining up in droves to force the blight from our highest offices. They're not doing it, and it's because of a colossal failure of leadership on the part of the Democrats. It's not just an opportunity to seize a political moment that is passing us by; it's a responsibility to uphold democracy itself -- and we're failing. Nancy Pelosi, Howard Dean, Harry Reid and the rest of the Democratic leadership have demonstrated a total absence of substance, and because of it, the greatest crimes ever perptrated by a president against the Constitution he swore to uphold will likely continue. For the Bush administration to commit those crimes is deplorable; but for the Democrats to allow them is reprehensible and inexcusable. Yes, the Democrats are the thing that sucked the worst in 2005.
4. Terrell Owens. This classless, boorish, me-first, clueless piece of human garbage is a perfect example of why I can barely stand the NFL anymore. Punks like this trash used to get kicked off of junior high teams for bad attitudes. Today, they're glorified, celebrated, rewarded, and turned into martyrs by others like them in the league (are you listening, Chad Johnson?). Owens is a petulent little child who shouldn't be working at a Burger King with his poor attitude, much less making millions. Anyone want to re-assess why he played in last year's Super Bowl on a bum ankle? Anyone really think it was about his team? Terrell Owens is a spoiled punk, and the only good thing about his shenanigans this year is that they guarantee that he'll make about half of what he thinks he's worth next year when some stupid team signs him.
5. Britney Spears still hasn't gotten nekkid in Playboy. Sure, she's trailer trash. That just bodes well for those of us who are waiting impatiently for the attempted career revival pictorial Britney is destined to do. However, if the gossip pages are to be believed, this talentless simpleton seems to believe that the solution to having married a useless, money-sucking leech is to have another child by him. Such stupidity can only mean two things: a) the career-revival attempt will only be more dire and necessary when she finally escapes the leech's clutches; and b) it's going to be delayed for at least one more year. I'll still be waiting, too -- like was once said about Kramer on Seinfeld, Britney is "a loathsome offensive brute, yet I can't take my eyes away."
6. Dick Cheney's heart still works. Four heart attacks, and they couldn't incapacitate this evil son of a bitch enough to get him out of the administration? That's proof alone that Cheney is the devil.
7. Bill O'Reilly didn't contract a scorching case of herpes and then give it to Ann Coulter. No explanation necessary.
8. Drew Rosenhaus. What's perhaps the only thing that's worse than an arrogant, cocky, smug, out-of-touch and totally useless slimeball athlete? That's right: an arrogant, pathetic, wannabe clinger-on to an arrogant, cocky, smug, out-of-touch and totally useless slimeball athlete. Rosenhaus' stint as Terrell Owens' agent is remarkable for the efficiency in which he destroyed his client's reputation and earning power. Nice job, Half-Pint.
9. No hockey. Sure, 80% of the country didn't care. But I grew up in hockey country, and for me the winter sport is played on ice, not a court. The NHL sacrificed a season to greed -- both the players' greed and the owners' greed -- and in the end the settlement that was reached screwed the players over worse than the one on the table when the lockout commenced. Die-hards like me will come back; it remains to be seen whether the sport's few casual fans will.
10. Larry the Cable Guy still has a career. The insipid "git-r-done" routine of Larry the Cable Guy revels in its lack of class, and celebrates lack of education, lack of manners, disrespect for others, and in some cases outright prejudice. That's the "anti-political correctness" movement at large, but ol' Larry personifies it -- and the fact that he's got a career out of it, not to mention that he was on fire in 2005, is a sad statement about not just his fans but our society in general, in that someone who glorifies ignorance can become a hero.
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Comments
Hey-
Are we to assume #1 pop culture was Star Wars? If you posted it, I never saw it.
Funny to wish death and disease on people.
There is discussion of TO going to Oakland next year, but my guess is he will not allow it because he would have to share the spotlight with Moss. There is also a chance he will come back to the Eagles. Who cares, right? He's the poster child for "grown up brat syndrome."
Please explain to my brother about how completely unfunny Larry The Cable Guy is. Robert just loves that idiot. Sorry, but I can't stand to listen the same joke told 50 different ways for an hour.
Posted by: Cuzin Jose at December 30, 2005 10:15 PM
I'm biased here but I think the Coast Guard did it's job.
Planned for and recognized the potential for disaster and then prepositioned assets...
No one waited for authorization they just went work...
35K rescued or evacuated...
...visibly provided hope when it looked lost
Not perfect by any means but far better than most.
Bravo zulu!
Posted by: usefulguy at December 30, 2005 10:26 PM
Listening to Larry the Cable Guy tell the same joke 50 different ways in one hour is kind of like watching some guy in a souped-up Chevy with Budweiser ads emblazoned all over it drive around a circle 50 different ways in one hour.
I suppose they round the circle more than 50 times in one hour.
Posted by: Brent at December 31, 2005 10:01 AM
Brent-
I could partially see a shred of validity to that statement.
If Larry The Cable guy exploded in flames and his head went sailing into the crowd to kill someone, maybe then it would be more fun to watch.
I think the debate as to whether or not all racing fans are rednecks has been covered, so I will ignore the attempt to re-open it.
Posted by: Cuzin Jose at December 31, 2005 11:12 AM
I actually know of at least one woman who happens to be a NASCAR fan, yet she is not a redneck. Unfortunately, she *is* a bitch, and I don't see her anymore. ...
Posted by: Brent at January 1, 2006 10:51 AM
