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December 11, 2005
Conspiracy Theories
Recently in a social situation, I was having a conversation with a woman who seemed from all appearances and indications to be completely "normal." She was witty, funny, interesting to talk to, and I was enjoying the conversation. Somehow -- and I honestly don't remember how now, because the tangent that followed was so bizarre -- the conversation got into freedom and democracy in America. (I think that in response to something she expressed disapproval of, I might have said something to the effect that, "It's a free country, right?" It was honestly that innocent and random a conversation starter.)
Suddenly, this to-all-other-appearances normal woman began launching into a veritable Canterbury Tales of conspiracies against freedom in this country. I mean, she got them all in there: how the U.N. is evil and was set up specifically to oppose the US Constitution, how a cabal of "bankers" (we all know where she was going with that, even if she didn't say it) through some Banking Manifesto thing control money and power in this country, how 9-11 was an inside job carried out by the government (in order to preserve the power structure set up by the bankers, don'tcha see?), how the government hides global warming, and how in fact "they" are so powerful that they can control the weather -- Katrina was deliberately steered toward New Orleans, y'see, in order to create a crisis and mess that would require large government contracts to fix (contracts that would be given to powerful defense and oil interests, which are in turn controlled by the bankers). As she continued her magnum opus, I started looking more intently at her. I was trying to figure out whether she had a little tinfoil hat hidden somewhere on her person that would block the radio waves. But until that conversation, the woman seemed totally normal -- we'd had a couple of hours' conversation at that point, and she'd carried it off without any indication that she believed that a giant "They" were out to get her.
This wasn't my first exposure to conspiracy theories; after having spent three years on the staff of a board that investigated the Kennedy Assassination, I've seen or heard almost every conspiracy theory you could ever dream up -- in fact, if you were to invent one right now, I've probably spent at least 10 minutes on the phone with someone who already believes it. But while some conspiracy theories are way out there and stretch the bounds of sanity (for example, some folks in New Orleans apparently actually believe that the levees there were bombed by the US goverment in an act of attempted ethnic cleansing against black Americans... and no less a public figure than Spike Lee has endorsed the theory), there are plenty of others that millions of sane, normal, otherwise intelligent Americans believe in.
For some, it's the persistent belief that JFK was murdered by factions within the government. For others, it involves aliens and Roswell. In the 50s it was the "Red Menace" and the belief that Communists had infiltrated the pillars of the US government. Today, some choose to believe the liberal media myth. Some believe that homosexuals are out to recruit their children. Others buy that the UN is an agent of "one-world government" and is designed to subvert the sovereignty of the United States. But whoever you are, it's a stone cold lead pipe lock that you believe in at least one conspiracy theory. That doesn't make you insane -- it makes you normal in this country.
For example, I believe with every ounce of my being that Big Oil met with Dick Cheney as early as February, 2001 (meetings Cheney has sued to keep secret, btw), and that the subject of those meetings was discussing the dividing up the spoils of Iraqi oil after a US invasion of Iraq. I believe that Cheney came to power intending to invade Iraq for the oil profits, and that had 9-11 not happened or UN inspections had definitively revealed no WMDs in Iraq, Cheney and Bush would have found another justification for an invasion. To some, it might sound incredible or even crazy to suggest that a US administration came to power specifically intending and desiring to start a war for oil profits... but I believe it as much as I believe my name is Christopher, and there is nothing that anyone could ever say to convince me otherwise. I readily concede that it's a subjective belief, rooted in my own world view, but it's what I believe.
But that's the whole point: that whatever our world views and subjective outlooks, there is something that drives most of us to believe in conspiracies. And it just makes me wonder what it is that's lacking in our own lives that drives us to believe that malevolent forces amass against us, somehow always remaining just on the periphery of our view. I suppose that humanity's desire to project control of our lives and fates onto a power greater than our own and just beyond our ability to prove it shouldn't surprise me; that's sort of the nature of religion, isn't it? But at least religion presupposes a benevolent power that tries to guide us or steer us toward good. (In theory, anyway. What human beings do with the concept is another story.)
But for some reason, so many of us if not all of us feel a subconscious need to believe in a collection of forces amassed against us, conspiracies designed to keep us from learning something, achieveing something, or freeing ourselves from something. Why is that? We are a nation founded on the image (if not the reality) that anyone can do anything, a nation where the core of the quintessential "American Dream" is that even those born into nothing can, through hard work and perserverance, move up to become the wealthiest citizen in town. Whether it was the Horatio Alger stories of fiction, or the lionizing/romanticizing of stories like Cornelius Vanderbilt building an empire from his start ferrying people across rivers, or Bill Gates dropping out of Harvard to start Microsoft, or even of Sergey Brin and Larry Page starting the colossus that became Google in a garage in Menlo Park. We venerate the individual's ability to rise above in our culture. So why do so many of use choose to believe in organized actions that prevent us from doing so?
I guess it's easier to blame a faceless "They" for things we're unhappy with -- or to ascribe more sinister and evil intent to those we don't like than perhaps is really there. Facing an ugly reality is easier if there's someone or something to blame for it. Which brings to mind this idea: if I were a sociology student going for his Ph.D., I might do my dissertation on the nature and spread of urban legend and conspiracy theory through American society over history. I'm willing to bet that during difficult or frightening times, new conspiracy theories have sprouted like dandelions on a sumer lawn -- and belief in conspiracy theories becomes far more pervasive.
Then again, as the old saying goes, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you." It could be, I suppose. The world might really be as oligarchichal and sinister as our popular belief make it out to be. But failing proof of that, it would seem that conspiracy theories stand as sort of the anti-religion -- the stimulant of the masses.
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Comments
OK...I know one you may not have heard of. Look up the term "Hegelian Dialectics and Conspiracy" -- in this exact order of words -- and tell me it ain't the Mother of All Conspiracy Theories. LOL!
Posted by: Brent at December 11, 2005 04:50 PM
My mother doesn't believe in the moon landing(s).
I agree w/ your assessment of Dick Cheney's ambition and purpose. He says he's not interested in politics. How then to explain that fact that he's VPOTUS? Twice?
As Hawk says, "Just b/c you're paranoid doesn't mean they're *not* out to get you."
Posted by: eden at December 11, 2005 05:17 PM
dude.....dating psychos is not good for the ticker.
Posted by: Marquette Hoops at December 11, 2005 07:28 PM
Oswald. One man, one rifle, three shots.
Posted by: mml at December 11, 2005 07:41 PM
I see you know history like you know basketball. ;-)
You were there, man! You saw the same stuff I did. How were your eyes not opened?! How did you not reach the same conclusion I did: that the Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files killed him?!
Besides... they tellin' us that Oswald got off three shots from a bolt-action rifle in less than six seconds? HA! That dog don't hunt!
Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 12, 2005 04:37 AM
when I was in middle school, FOX ran a show about how the moon landing was fake, and nearly everyone in my class believed it.
Posted by: Sarah at December 12, 2005 11:30 AM
Just yanking your chain. Of course I believe there was a conspiracy.
Besides, Jim Garrison proved it in court.
Those Arby's boys were picking gnat sh*t out of pepper.
Another conspiracy: how the NBA front office kept the greatest center in NBA history (SHAQ) off of the roster of the 50 greatest players of all time.
Posted by: mml at December 12, 2005 07:49 PM
I think Bill Russell might have something to say about your laughable contention that Shaq could carry his jock strap.
You as crazy as your mama! Goes ta show it's in the genes!
Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 12, 2005 09:44 PM
Corporate america is a conspiracy theory. we're actually the ones making all the money. Heh!
Posted by: thebeav at December 13, 2005 12:33 PM
So, does Anna Benson look as cheap in real life as she does in pictures?
Posted by: Mike at December 13, 2005 02:44 PM
Anna digs me.
Just the other day she was on Howard Stern saying that every time Kris ever loses a game for the Mets, she's gonna sleep with me.
Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 14, 2005 09:38 AM
