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December 29, 2005
Priorities
Good men buried their sons this week.
Tony Dungy, head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, is by all accounts one of the classiest men in the NFL, a true leader and role model not only for his players but for kids anywhere. The outpouring of grief and geuine sympathy for Dungy after the death of his 18 year old son James is indicative of the esteem in which Dungy is held by his peers and colleagues in football's fraternity. Dungy's eloquence and strength during his eulogy for his son at the funeral service was admirable and inspirational, and it's impossible not to cheer for the Colts to win the Super Bowl this year now, so deep is the respect and compassion that Dungy has earned from anyone who pays even passing attention to the NFL.
Master Sgt. Joseph Andres Jr. was a 34 year old communications officer assigned to Fort Bragg who was servving in Iraq. He was supposed to be home for New Year's Eve in his hometown of Cleveland, but he never made it home. His unit came under small arms fire in Baquoba on Saturday, and he died on Christmas Eve. His sister described the family's loss in simple terms. "It's devastation," she said.
Each death was tragic in its own way, and the only connection or comparison between the two is their shared sad conclusion this week. But we can learn a lot about someone else's priorities in the aftermath of their losses. A professional football coach's teenage son dies of an apparent suicide, just days before Christmas; an American soldier carrying out his duty in a combat zone is killed in an ambush on Christmas Eve, just a week before he was supposed to come home. Guess which family got a personal note from the Commander in Chief?
If you guessed the military family, you guessed wrong.
George W. Bush, ever advertising his "man of faith"-ness, sent a personal note to the Dungy family to be delivered during the funeral. At one point, while testimonies were being read, an attendant hurried down the aisle carrying a piece of paper. A minister took it to the podium. It was a letter from President Bush, an announcement that brought a gasp from the congregation. Bush expressed his and his wife Laura's sadness and condolences to Tony Dungy and his wife, Lauren. "I pray for you," the president wrote. "May God keep you. May his light shine upon you."
Gee, George. It sure was swell of you to take the opportunity to show your compassion and faith in such an ostentatious fashion as a hand-delivered letter during the funeral service. You could have sent private condolences, I suppose, or phoned the family before or after the service, but then no one would have seen your display -- and what good would that have done you? A neutral observer might conclude that Bush's note was delivered not out of compassion but out of the desire to appear compassionate.
Meanwhile, there were no reports of the Andres family receiving a personal letter of condolence from George W. Bush, despite his role as commander in chief of the armed forces in which Joseph Andres served so admirably. No phone calls to a family who lost their son on Christmas Eve, for whom the holidays will never be the same. No presidential letters containing prayers or invoking God's blessing came for the Andres family during Joseph's funeral service. There was no acknowledgement at all by this president of Joseph Andres' death.
Actually, there have been no acknoweldgements by George W. Bush of any of the 2,172 American military deaths since he started the war in Iraq over what even he now admits were false pretenses. He has not attended one military funeral for a serviceman or woman killed in Iraq. There have been no personal notes of condolence delivered in the flashiest of fashions during funeral services for all the world to see, no individual prayers offered or wishes for God's light to shine on military families who've lost a loved one in George W. Bush's war.
A respected football coach tragically loses a son, and George W. Bush is all over it, in as public a fashion as possible. A military family tragically loses a son, and just like each time before it, George W. Bush is nowhere to be found. Bush's actions speak volumes about the man's priorities and sincerity.
I feel heartsick for the Dungy family, and I wish them peace and comfort during this terrible time; if they find it in their faith, then I am glad it brings them solace.. I also feel heartsick for the Andres family, and I wish them peace and comfort during this terrible time; I hope there is some solace for them in the pride and thanks of a grateful nation for their son's sacrifice. Neither man's death diminishes the shock and sadness of the loss of the other; each was heartbreaking for the families and loved ones left behind. I hope that there is a lesson to be learned in each man's death about compassion, about faith, and about what's really important in life.
"I urge you not to take your relations for granted," Dungy said. "Parents, hug your kids each chance you get. Tell them you love them each chance you get. You don't know when it's going to be the last time."
We promise, Coach.
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Comments
Honestly, Mudge, these are the things you should be writing your book about. Your exposure of what seems to slip right by the commonfolk sheep is the largest keystone to this blog. Im sure most of the Bush supporters thought he was a hell of a guy at that point. The man is a plastic figurine of a human being.
Posted by: Cuzin Jose at December 29, 2005 05:21 PM
All deaths are tragic. Joe Andres was a friend of mine. From little league baseball to Cub Scouts to high school, he was always a good kid. We lost touch after high school, but it turns out he was much, much more. As a professional soldier, he dedicated his life to serving his country. Don't play politics with his death. It cheapens his life.
LCDR Michael Lehman, MC, USNR
Posted by: Michael Lehman at January 4, 2006 10:08 AM
Commander Lehman,
First of all, let me express condolences and sincere sadness at the death of your friend. Whether you choose to believe that those who oppose the decision to send troops to Iraq can support the troops, we can and do, and I grieve for your friend -- as well as praying for those who continue to serve.
For the record, I am also a USNR veteran (1991-1995), and I don't take the death of any American miltary personnel lightly. I lost shipmates in the first Gulf War, and I know what it's like to lose not just a friend but a comrade in arms. Again, my sincere condolences on your loss.
As to your suggestion that I was "playing with" MSgt. Andres' death, I respectfully disagree and ask you to review what I wrote. I was frustrated and angry that, given that MSgt. Andres was serving in the military in Iraq at the behest of the commander in chief, that the CiC opted not to contact his family personally to express prayers and sympathies. Rather, he chose to very publicly and ostentatiously make a show of contacting a football coach.
Not to diminish the loss the Dungy family suffered, or the tragedy of James Dungy's death, but if there was only one personal letter the president should have written and had delivered to a mourning family that day was to the Andres family. It bothers me as a veteran and as an American that a president who makes such a show of "supporting the troops" could not be bothered to make any gestures of comfort or gratitude to the family of an American soldier.
The military and their families need and deserve our support, yes -- but not through blind and unquestioning support of the policies of a president of only a specific political persuasion. They deserve and have earned our support through both taking care of our vets while they're alive, and through our prayers, support and sincerity during the family's worst times, when those who will never come home are laid to rest. It's my opinion, sir, that for the president to make an ostentatious show of contacting the Dungy family while not making a similar gesture to the Andres family -- nor to any of the other 2,171 families who've lost a loved one in Iraq -- was a slap in the face to America's military families, and an affront to all that is honorable about military service. What message is the president sending, that a football coach's loss is deemed worthy of a grander and more public gesture than a military family's?
I doubt you and I will ever agree on the policies of this president, nor will we ever see eye to eye on the circumstances that led to the American presence in Iraq. But I hope that you can understand that this disagreement in no way lessens the sincerity of my respect for Joseph Andres, or of my genuine sadness for his loss and for the pain his family and friends are going through. I'll close this comment by repeating something I said in my original post, something I'm not sure you saw or read based on your comment:
"I also feel heartsick for the Andres family, and I wish them peace and comfort during this terrible time; I hope there is some solace for them in *the pride and thanks of a grateful nation for their son's sacrifice.*"
My best wishes to you, sir - and to your shipmates. Whether you choose to believe them or accept them, I leave to you; but they're offered sincerely and without reservation.
Posted by: Curmudgeon at January 4, 2006 04:10 PM
Sir,
I understand what you were saying n your original post, and I understand your reply to my comment. I was unfortnate enough to find after I googled his name to get the address of the funeral home. I simply think that the post, and the comparisons it draws, was not worth writing.
Posted by: Michael Lehman at January 4, 2006 10:31 PM
