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December 16, 2005
Protect Marriage and Decency
The Chronic Curmudgeon has never shied from speaking the truth, even when it could offend some of the less savory elements of society. Today's no different. The fact is, there is a group of deviants who represent a direct threat to the institution of marriage and the American family, and who violate the sense of decency of moral Americans everywhere. These disgusting people must be stopped, and I'm hoping that you share my sense of outrage at the immorality and perversion they represent.
I'm talking, of course, about heterosexuals.
First of all, heterosexuals clearly intend on making a mockery of the institution of marriage. Celebrity heterosexuals treat marriage as little more than a license to perform sexual acts; marriages are little more to them than a convenient phase or publicity stunt. But it's not just celebrity "straights" (as they apparently prefer to be called) who mock the sacred institution of marriage; among "straights" in America, four in ten marriages end in divorce -- four in ten! That's almost half!
But worse than what the het-ros do to marriage is what they do to our children. They'll deny it, of course -- they know America would reject their vile and perverted agenda -- but straights prey on children, trying to recruit them into their perverted lifestyles. And even though they don't want us to talk about that, I am going to -- because I have proof.
-- In Florida, a straight 25 year old female teacher just avoided going to trial for having sex with one of her 14 year old male students. The boy's mother sought to avoid trial to protect her son from further trauma.
-- In Georgia, a 37 year old woman actually had sex with and then married a 15 year old boy who was friends with her son. This woman then blamed the boy for the urges she'd convinced him to give in to, actually alleging that he'd pursued her.
-- In Nebraska, a 22 year old male who'd "had sex" with his 13 year old female "girlfriend" and then married her just pled guilty to sexual assault for consumating his marriage. He faces 50 years in prison. If you ask me, the damn heterosexual lobby in Kansas bear some of the responsibility here; they're so lenient and dismissively liberal about marriage that the state has no minimum age for marriage.
Heck, if the straight activists in Kansas had their way, a 3 year old boy could marry a two year old girl. That's how sick and perverse that het-ro activist crowd is... and you're just naive if you're telling me that such an argument is an unfathomable or irresponsible stretch of logic. That's what these people are really all about. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the next thing het-ros want to do is legalize marriage between a man and his dog.
There's really only one solution (in two parts) to protect Americans from the threat to decency and morality that heterosexuals represent. FIrst of all, heterosexuals should be legally prohibited from marrying. If the Constitution has loopholes that might allow it, or even if the marriage laws forbid it anyway but with language that isn't hateful and discriminatory enough, we should amend our constitutions to explicitly forbid straight marriage.
Secondly, to protect our kids, heterosexuals must be prohibited from adopting children; they should be legally banned from ever becoming teachers or serving in any job where they'd have access to children. The het-ro agenda is to recruit children to their lifestyle; by keeping them out of the classroom we can stand up and say, "Not in our town!"
I'm sure the heterosexual lobby will do everything they can to discredit me; they'll call me a bigot and accuse me of "hate speech" (which is always their first defense when someone points out their disgusting tendencies), and they'll tell you that I take selected cases that aren't representative of the entire heterosexual community and then sensationalize them to support my hateful agenda. Let 'em talk; I'm not afraid of them. I speak the truth -- my credibility's rock solid. As someone who has given in to his heterosexual tendencies repeatedly in my life, I'm "straight" -- I know the agenda better than anyone.
(Yeah, I think it's a stupid argument too -- as stupid as when the "Family" brownshirts use it in the other direction.)
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Comments
That Georgia example strikes close to home, eh Mudge?
Posted by: Marquette Hoops at December 16, 2005 02:22 PM
Hey... there's a big difference between 15 and 21, man. The only close to home thing in that story was that the older partner was 37.
Besides... I didn't *marry* her. What do you think I am, sick or something? ;-)
Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 16, 2005 02:32 PM
I tried to add pithy comments. It won't let me. It hates me b/c I'm hetero.
Posted by: eden at December 16, 2005 09:04 PM
Let everyone get married and have kids. Why limit the misery to only a segment of the population?
Posted by: mml at December 17, 2005 07:18 AM
Chris-
Please reach out to your readers for their support as my mother begins her battle with breast cancer. We'll take all the sympathy we can get.
Posted by: Cuzin Jose at December 17, 2005 12:10 PM
Jose -
Done. (See newest post.)
Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2005 10:19 AM
