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January 15, 2006
When Cheap Effects Attack!
Generally speaking, I am a Europhile. I like Europeans. I love visiting Europe. I'm psyched that I get to go back there in about three months for work and will be there for a while.
But one thing I neither understand nor like about Europe is the taste Europeans have for the more embarrassing elements of American pop culture. The love of the French for Sharon Stone, for example. Or the bizarre and diisturbing fascination the Germans have with David Hasselhoff.
Courtesy of my friend Dave out in the Bay Area comes a link that makes that aforementioned German fascination even more troubling -- dare I say frightening. You'd think that having been the star of the world's most successful television series ever, and being a "big star" on the German music scene, Hasselhoff could afford special effects for his music videos. As you'll see here, this is not the case. In fact, it would appear that Mr. Hasselhoff hired the Sunnyvale Middle School A/V club to produce and do the effects for his video for his cover of "Hooked On A Feeling." Seriously, it's a 7th grade production project. Hell, my friend Ethan's video is 20 times better, and he just did his all by himself for a grad school project; he's not Germany's biggest musical star. (Well, not yet anyway.)
But you have to check this video out. Not only is it the most unintentionally, hysterical in that it's-so-awful-it's-funny way video of all time, but it features the whitest dancing in the history of all white men. Dig it when the acoustic solo ends and Hasselhoff is superimposed over the image of people dancing in the club... when that annoying "Ooga Chaka, Ooga Ooga, Ooga Chaka, Ooga Ooga" thing is going on: you won't even see dancing that white when I'm drunk enough to be in da club and on da floor. If you survive all the way to the very end, you're rewarded with fresh fish. And, of course, Hasselhoff dancing in front of that world famous Anchorage, Alaska skyline.
Destined to join that video of the fat kid singing the theme to Titanic and Hurra Torpedo's ass-crack and kitchen appliance version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" as the worst-best video performances of all time. It's that bad/good. Check it out here.
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Comments
I managed to keep a straight face until they show him dancing in the bear-skin parka. Then I lost it.
However, is this really any different from the quality of Baywatch? I mean they make it almost obvious that the under water scenes are shot in a pool and what not.
Although if I were a 7th grader, I might be offended at your comparison, because 7th graders could probably do better.
Posted by: Cuzin Jose at January 15, 2006 10:12 AM
Okay, watch the part where the fish gets thrown at him... I truly think the 'director' found a fake fish and told someone to toss it at the Hoff, just to see what he would do. He barely catches it, like he wasn't expecting it... then he dances with it in his mouth.
Obviously I've watched this video about a 100 times. It takes the place of Thriller or Take on Me for best video of ALL TIME.
Posted by: Campbell at January 15, 2006 12:07 PM
