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February 10, 2006
An Icon Departs
An American icon -- and I think a hero -- died last weekend. Betty Friedan's passing merits noting, because of the contributions to American society that she not only made herself, but inspired others to make. Long before the concept of "feminism" was complicated by sexual politics on one end of the spectrum and fear-and-control-insppired insults from Limbaugh on the other, there was a basic premise that seems incredibly "duh" now, but was quite revolutionary in its day:
"A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, `Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children," Friedan said.
During her lifetime, Friedan was vilified by many for airing the simple concept that if a woman wanted more out of her life than her MRS degree and 2.5 kids in the suburbs, that was not just okay but was normal. But unquestionably, America is a better place for her having been here. Feminism and its definition changed over the years, both from within (schisms over sexual politics, sexuality itself, and an unfortunate sort of demonization of the choice to stay home and raise children all impacted what it meant to be a feminist) and without (frightened reactionary men, seeing their complete control threatened over not just their homes but their workplaces, responded with name-calling, exaggerations, and demonization of their own). But that basic concept: that women -- not society -- should be in control of their own destinies and making their own choices, shouldn't be lost in the confusing melange of political agendas that elicit such intense reactions today.
Friedan wasn't the first feminist, nor were her concepts original. But by daring to articulate what generations had felt -- and drawing the arrows of ignorance fired from lesser quarters over it -- Friedan empowered generations of American women to explore life and make the most of their gifts. It's not just women who benefitted from that. Whatever choices women make today -- careers, families, and combinations thereof -- are all up to the individual and not "society." Men, too -- as husbands, boyfriends, brothers, fathers and friends -- are the better for this.
And for that, we all owe Betty Friedan a debt of gratitude. Bon voyage, ma'am; you'll be missed.
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Comments
I agree that Betty Friedan was a monster intellect whose ideas wielded a huge influence on our culture. But it seems to me that she may have also seeded the feminazi movement, not to mention the aspirations, subsequently successful, of those who wish to have their cake and eat it, too.
Posted by: Brent at February 11, 2006 12:15 PM
A little bitter, Brent? Since when did you become a Rush Limbaugh quoting hater?
First of all, Friedan was a moderate within the feminist movement, counseling against letting s*xual politics distract from larger goals of economic equality and self-dependence. The anti-male hysteria that came to define radical feminism was never part of Friedan's agenda -- in fact, she was vilified by the more extreme wings of the women's movement for not siding with them (read Germaine Greer's criticisms, for example).
And I think it's *extremely* irresponsible to start borrowing hater language from Limbaugh and painting an entire movement as "femin*zis" -- or for that matter, to characterize a commitment to equality and to the notion that a woman can feel that there is more to life that a husband and having children as somehow an extremist way of looking at things. The idea that those choices should be made by women and not by men like you or I is not extreme; the idea that fulfillment does not rely on men like you or I is not radical.
WTF does that mean, "have their cake and eat it too?" On second thought, don't tell me. I really don't want to know. I have a strong sense that its best if you and I just let this one go, us being friends and all. But your use of the term really bothers me, dude. I know you, and you're neither that insecure nor that small. Let's save the N term for those who've earned it (say, the folks in power right now?). ;-)
P.S. Hey Living Dot... your stupid filter programs are ridiculous. I understand not wanting people spreading that N word, but geez, can't your system look at context? Sheesh! And my god, blocking a comment because I wrote "s*xual politics?" That's just ridiculous.
Posted by: Curmudgeon at February 11, 2006 05:41 PM
