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February 19, 2006

Ugly Americans

I'd like to thank Bode Miller and Lindsey Jacobellis for proving me right this week at the Olympics.

Last month, I wrote about how much I hate the X-Games, and how much I generally dislike X-Gamer types -- in my opinion a collection of gnarly rad look-at-me types getting together to show off and trying turn radical tricks in a pathetic attention-seeking exercise. And naturally (not that I predicted it, except I basically did), Lindsey Jacobellis was dominating the "boardocross" event (how far the Olympics have fallen when spit called "boardocross" is an Olympic event; is it any wonder the ratings are way down and American Idol is kicking the Olympics' Nielsen ass?), and in true snowboarder/X Gamer style, she tried to hot dog and show off and pull a "look-at-me" showboating stunt... and promptly fell on her ass and lost the gold medal.

Lindsey Jacobellis got exactly what she deserved. No one should feel the slightest bit of sympathy for this little showboat; she got what she had coming by falling on her ass and losing in such ignominoious fashion that her name will forevermore be a synonym for hubristic, ego-driven failure. Unfortunately, while she's now become the poster child for the egotistical excesses of this "sport," her attitude reflects its pervasive culture... only they didn't have to pay for it as overtly as she did. Snowboarders are all over message boards defending Jacobellis, and other snowboarders at the Olympics have actually been stupid enough to say it would have been a shame if she didn't try to hot dog.

You know, RIck Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune got it 100% right (free subscription required): It probably would be a good thing if somebody explained to the snowboarders that once they decided to sit at the adults' table, they made the tacit agreement to play to win. They made the decision to act like Olympians, which now means to act professional. It means trying your hardest to finish first. And part of trying your hardest means doing whatever is necessary to win. In this case, a little clear thinking would have gone a long way.

Meanwhile, Bode Spicoli continues to set all sorts of records for ineptitude and officially sucking. In his latest debacle, the Olympic version of Robert Downey Jr. couldn't even stay on course long enough to finish a race. Then, like the chicken-spit coward he is, he went trekking off through the woods to avoid reporters (probably headed back to the bar or to see if the Mexican team had any good sinsemilla on 'em. This came after getting disqualified from one race and then publicly proclainming that he didn't care. The Washington Post's Sally Jenkins has it right when she suggests that if Bode Miller can't or won't take the Olympics seriously, then perhaps he should just cart his partied-out ass back home.

Wow... this is the best America has to offer: a train wreck stoner who can't be bothered to take the Olympics seriously or even stay sober long enough to complete a run, and a hot-dogging attention hound who would rather showboat than win. Between that and how our athletes have behaved like arrogant children in the past (remember the disgraceful display from the 4x100m relay team at Sydney?), Americans at the Olympics keep adding to the oh-so-stellar reputations we have built over the last 25 years (and that have been crafted to new levels by Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld). They're both a disgrace to sports. If Ameirca keeps choosing to appoint "athletes" like these two to represent us, then we'll have a whole new generation to blame for the reason the world knows us as Ugly Americans.

Posted by Christopher on February 19, 2006 12:50 PM

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Comments

Is it a cop-out to say about this post:

"That... Was... AWESOME!"

It's true :D

Posted by: eden at February 19, 2006 01:23 PM

Yeah, I like the team play of Shani Davis, too. Real team player. Glad to see the press focusing on the fact that this non-snowboarder, non-skier is not just out for himself. I'm happy he got the gold (earned it is a better word) and even happier that he broke a huge barrier (in fact, I pointed him out to my daughter as someone she may read about someday in her history books).

But he's as much NOT about the Olympics as Bode. His team needed him, but all thought about was himself. That's not sportsmanship. That's today's professional athlete.

The Olympics are flawed, perhaps beyond repair. They are no longer pure (NBA players in basketball? MLB players in baseball?). They are no longer about sport (Ballroom dancing? Ice skating? And please don't get me started about the bastardization the Olympic committee comitted admitting things like ballroom dancing into the Games. And I'd venture to say that the lack of a Cold War has nullified the patriotic fervor behind the games (Quick, tell me who carried the flag into the stadium this year! Maybe we need a few good Muslim nations to pull a Jamaican boblsled act and get the nationalist juices and television ratings flowing again).

Posted by: The Romans at February 19, 2006 09:18 PM

Shani was absolutely right. He wanted to focus on his event, the event he is a world record holder in and he had a goal to win his event. Speedskating isn't a team sport. This pursuit event is a joke and he NEVER told anyone he was going to skate in it in the first place. If the U.S. wanted to win a gold in the pursuit than they should have put together a good pursuit team.

So fuck Chad Hedricks and his crying ass. He's upset because someone didn't want to sacrifice their goals to help him tie a record he wasn't going to tie since apparently his goals are for the "greater good". He acted like a big baby when Shani won and I hope Shani kicks his ass in the 1,500 too.

Posted by: Corey at February 20, 2006 12:21 PM

Last I checked, skiing wasn't a team sport either.

Posted by: The Romans at February 20, 2006 08:23 PM

No what's the problem with Shani. He opted not to skate in some team event (that he never agreed to do) and focus on the event he's been focusing on since he was six years ago.

BTW, I don't see anyone else on the speedskating team sacrificing their personal goals for unity either. Good for him. Only in America can someone be criticized for working hard to achieve a goal and being focused enough to achieve it.

Posted by: Corey at February 20, 2006 10:17 PM

BTW, Mudge, not to get all positive on you, but why you gotta hate?

Why not mention Joey Cheek, a speedskater turned philantropist who donated all the winnings from his gold and silver medal to charity.

Or Lindsey Kildow, who completely wiped out on a skiing practice run and broke her body only to return two days later and ski in every event because she didn't come all the way to Italy to spend time in a hospital.

Or even that evil X-gamer Shaun White, who came, won his gold and didn't act like an asshole about it. He cried, he realized his achievement, he was proud of representing his country.

It's isn't all bad, there are a lot of fine athletes wearing the colors in Turin.

Posted by: Corey at February 20, 2006 10:32 PM

Yeah, and there's even a couple of snowboarders too. ;-)

Posted by: Curmudgeon at February 21, 2006 06:20 AM

I personally agree that Lindsey Jacobellis blew the gold. Having said that, I don't think she deserves the vitriole that has been spewed on her by a lot of people, including Bob Costas. Three things: 1) she is a young woman who made a mistake; 2) she still won silver, which used to mean something; 3) she sat through and took a lot of cr*p from a very hard hitting Bob Costas interview, who basically demeaned her accomplishment. I would like to see any of the other American floppers sit through those types of questions and fare any differently. And sure, you can rail on her about seeming a little non-chalant about the mistake, but would everyone be happier if she broke down weeping and threatened suicide? I am sure she doesn't need thousands of people to tell her that she blew it. I thought Jerome Bettis spoke volumes about mistakes in high profile environments:

"I can sympathize. I wasn't in the same position, but I was in a close position," said Bettis. "My career could have ended on a play where I went out on the field arrogant. I did some things I never should do and as a result of that I turned the football over at the worst possible time and put my team in a very difficult position. I learned a valuable lesson in that if you go out there with a sense of arrogance and accomplishment and you haven't accomplished anything, then you set yourself up for failure. Looking at that and her miscue, it brought back some painful memories for me."

Posted by: Seadogs at February 21, 2006 09:11 AM

Costas, who's very much a little shit, really went over the line on Jacobellis with the interview.

She deserved a bit of criticism, but he did everything short of kick her in the ovaries.

Posted by: Corey at February 21, 2006 01:49 PM