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March 05, 2006
Blog Stew: Gentialia Edition
A few quick items for a soon-to-be-spring weekend:
1. Natalie Portman, Original G. I knew there was a reason I liked this chick. From Saturday Night LIve this weekend, here's Natalie playing like she's got a bad-ass side. "Whatchu need, Natalie? To (bleep) all night!... P is for Portman... and P is for (bleep)!" Aw, hell yeah. Sure, it's derivative of "Lazy Sunday," but 1) who can blame them for going back to the well? and 2) Natalie Portman can do whatever she wants.
2. The return of the Bizarre Penis Stories. One to make you laugh, and one to make you cry. First is the painful story... this headline caught my eye, and when I checked the story it made me double over and cringe.
"A 29-year-old man heard a snap during sexual intercourse followed by immediate detumescence and a swelling of the penile basis and scrotum, due to a penile fracture."
OMFG. I have tears in my eyes just reading that. If you're a guy, upon reading this you just lost the ability to sleep tonight.
Meanwhile, here's a penis story that is a bit less excruciating to read. "A man and woman were cited Friday in connection with a bizarre incident that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store last week... Bostic had filled a fake penis with his urine that Creighton, a friend, planned to use to pass a drug test she was taking to get a job, Police Chief Joseph Pero said. Creighton asked a store clerk to microwave the device so the urine inside would be body-temperature and fool those giving the drug test, Pero said.
Police still aren't sure why Creighton chose to use a device that mimics the male sex organ to pass her drug test."
Ah, Darwinism... keeping stupid people from working since 10,000 BC.
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Comments
I wish she wouldn't move around like that though... it made me a little embarassed. Other than that, it was funny. well... and her voice is like Mac Culkin. But like, yeah man. It was funny.
Posted by: thebeav at March 6, 2006 05:45 PM
