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July 11, 2006
Karma Apples
Sometimes, karma flies around like a seagull at the beach of life, dropping big white bombs all over the ice cream cones and french fries of the unsuspecting and hapless who are just trying to enjoy a little cosmic sunshine.
For example... I came home from work tonight to find that the afternoon's thunderstorm had invaded my new apartment via the toilet; I don't know where the blockage or backup came from, but I thought something smelled slightly amiss when I walked in... and as I passed the bathroom from the hall, I saw about two inches of standing water in my bathroom, and realized that the carpet outside the room was soaked and squishing beneath my feet. Thankfully, it wasn't pure sewage, just backed up water. But my carpet is destroyed. Basically entering my third week of actually living here, and they're going to have to replace the carpeting. True, this management company did respond within 10 minutes of my alerting them, and made the carpet replacement arrangements within half an hour... so they're actual professionals here as opposed to the boneheads at the old place. But still... what a karmic kick in the mummy/daddy buttons.
Then other times, karma sets into the world like a masked, mysterious comic book hero -- one with a tragic and rarely told past, one with demons that always take it right up to the edge between itself and those criminals it opposes -- seeking out cold-blooded vengeance against those who have wronged the innocent and striking horrific fear into the hearts of the wicked.
For example... Barry Bonds is finally going to be indicted this month for tax evasion and for perjuring himself before a federal grand jury. One step closer to playing in the California Penal League, you sanctimonious, cheating SOB. Or, to use another example... that shrill, screeching, evil harpie Ann Coulter's been nailed for plagiarism. (For those who say "her syndicator dismissed the claims," look at the side by side comparisons of Coulter's "work" and the originals she lifted from. They're word for word. She's been nailed, the evil skanky skeleton bitch. For example:
In “Godless,” Coulter writes:
“The massive Dickey-Lincoln Dam, a $227 million hydroelectric project proposed on upper St. John River in Maine, was halted by the discovery of the Furbish lousewort, a plant previously believed to be extinct.”
An article that ran in 1999 in Maine’s Portland-Press Herald contains the following passage:
“The massive Dickey-Lincoln Dam, a $227 million hydroelectric project proposed on upper St. John River, is halted by the discovery of the Furbish lousewort, a plant believed to be extinct.”)
Yeah, karma's a strange bird at times. But I think Bonds going to jail and Coulter being publicly humiliated and professionally disgraced is enough to offset my flooded toilet and wrecked carpet.
Comments
Plagarism seems to be so rampant in our society. I was a victim of plagarism. I was my HS valedictorian and while attending my brother's graduation ten years later I heard most of my speech nearly word for word from the valedictorian from his class. Even the personal references weren't changed. The speeches were saved by the school (I guess for future slackers to use).
Needless to say I was pissed. Actual words can't express my anger. I felt like embarrassing the speaker right then and there. But, in the end, I felt that I would embarrass my brother and myself more. And of course I should have complained to the superintendant and principal. But, I felt that karma would prevail in the end. I felt that sooner or later that person would try plagerising something else in some college class or work activity. And eventually karma would prevail.
So, hopefully Coulter has been humiliated for the plagarism. Maybe we won't see her anymore in the public eye. People just need to remember her dishonesty.
As for Bonds, it was nice not to see him at the All-Star Game.
And last, why would your toilet overflow from a thunderstorm?
Posted by: Hawk at July 12, 2006 01:00 AM
At school, plagiarism is grounds for expulsion.
Wouldn't it be cool if we could expel Ann Coulter from life?
Sorry, you cheated, find another plane of existence, bitch.
Posted by: A Disturbingly Cynical College Student at July 12, 2006 10:50 AM
This might be my favorite opening sentence that I've read as of late.
And Disturbingly Cynical's comment makes for an excellent way to end my reading experience.
Posted by: jill at July 12, 2006 12:33 PM
POH!!! Oh man, thank gack you didn't leave a monster dump in there and forget to flush it like my roommate did. Otherwise, you would have come home to what looked like brown surfboards scooting around your turdroom.
I don't mind Ann Coulter. What I do mind is her use of a Dandy Warhols song as he book title. I do hope they sue.
Posted by: thebeav at July 14, 2006 10:37 AM
i absolutely concur on the dandy warhols bit
Posted by: a disturbingly cynical college student at July 17, 2006 11:41 AM
