The Chronic Curmudgeon: Mudge's Favorite 134 Songs of the 80s: Don't Let Your Mom Hear These

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August 06, 2006

Mudge's Favorite 134 Songs of the 80s: Don't Let Your Mom Hear These

It just so happens that this little gathering of five happens to include a couple that you might have had to hide from your parents when you were listening to them. Which is all good, because there's always a little bit of rebellion or danger in good music.

60. Shot In The Dark, Ozzy Osbourne Here's one where I wish I could be a little more revisionist in this list. 20 years later, I'd much rather be able to sit here and put "Crazy Train" here instead. But if I'm being honest, I have to admit that I really, really liked "A Shot In The Dark" when it came out my senior year. It's among Ozzy's poppier efforts, not nearly as 'dangerous' as most of his other stuf... and when you watch the video, I know you'll conclude as I do that glam does not suit Ozzy... he'd have been better off staying with his own look. In glam, he looks like a slightly more metallic Liberace. But poppy or not, glam-misstepped or not, I really liked it back then, and it's one of the guiltier pleasures in Ozzy's catalog. And given the befuddled, addled, drug-fried Ward Meat Cleaver that we know he turned into, this is kind of fun to look back on. The video's here.

59. Too Drunk To F*ck, The Dead Kennedys By about 1983-1984, punk had stopped being cool and had gone back underground a little bit, usurped by heavy metal as the rebel's music of choice. Among punk's proud practioners still perservering were the Dead Kennedys. And while they had other songs that I have since come to really like (Holiday In Cambodia, California Uber Alles, Nazi Punks F*ck Off), it was "Too Drunk" that -- for some reason that I just can't seem to put my finger on -- appealed to my teenage self. I first heard it in a lockerroom; the weird swim team guys, who all delighted in being non-conformists and different from the football and hockey types, had it cranked up one afternoon. I walked over to them, listened to it for a few seconds, grinned, and nodded at them... which would be about the only interaction they would choose to have with me or I with them. Loved it then, still love it today. The video listed with it here is not the Dead Kennedys, but I can't find any real video of the whole song, and this video at least does have the complete original version... so just close your eyes, take a listen... take out your f*ckin' retainer, put it in your purse... and enjoy.

58. I Want Your Sex, George Michael Remember when this was actually controversial? I mean, like really controversial? So much so that a lot of radio stations wouldn't even play it? And then just a few years later, we'd graduated to "poetry" like this sludge. But back in those quaint, Leave It To Beaver days of 1987, Michael was forced to issue statements and include them in the video that this song was about monogamy and all of its pleasures. Overlooked in all the fuss was that "Sex" was a funky, danceable, even slightly Latin-tinged record that was less a stunt for attention than a harbinger of bigger things to come from George Michael. (Yes, I just said "bigger things to come from George Michael. Get your snickering and lavatory jokes out of your systems now, kids.) Anyway, while the lyrics seem tamer with every passing year, the music still holds up. George Michael's second and final appearance on this countdown is dedicated to that wonderful thing we should all be dedicated to. Because after all, "sex is natural, sex is fun," -- I mean, um, "explore monogamy."

57. Shock The Monkey, Peter Gabriel Doesn't Peter Gabriel's 1981 haircut look like he was in 1966? But this was a very cool song, with a great rhythm line (as most Gabriel songs had), a memorable hook, and a great video. It had inexplicable imagery, a cute little animal, hand gestures (crossing one's arms at the wrist when saying "SHOCK!" in the brigde), and angry, attacking dwarves. I mean, who can't like a video with angry attacking dwarves? Gabriel shows up for the third time in the top 134 here at #57.

56. Kiss Off, Violent Femmes I know, the one everyone always talks about is Blister In The Sun. But "Kiss Off" was eminently more chant-along-able. "I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record... oh yeah?" Or the unforgettable number count-up in the middle third... come on, everyone, sing it with me: "I take one, one, one 'cuz you left me; and two, two, two for my family; and three, three, three for my heartache; and four, four, four for my headaches; and five, five, five for for my lonely; and six, six, six for my sorrow; and seven, seven, n-n-n-no tomorrow; and eight, eight, I forget what eight was for; and nine, nine, nine for a lost God; and ten, ten, ten, for everything! everything! everything! everything!"

Best singalong song of the decade, quite possibly. Catch a non-Femmes video of the song here.

Posted by Christopher on August 6, 2006 11:12 AM