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August 21, 2006
Mudge's Favorite 134 Songs of the 80s: Teenage Wasteland
Well, it's actually not a wasteland, but I couldn't think of any other pithy references to teen numbers that didn't involve something that would get Doc and MU making smart-ass, exaggerated references to my dating history. So the Who it is. Anyway, we're getting into my most favorite 80s songs now -- and while I was tempted to slow things down even more and cut to two a day, my computer will not last that long. So we're back up to four.
20. 867-5309 (Jenny), Tommy Tutone You called it, didn't you? Admit it. Whatever unfortunate SOB had that phone number in your area code, they got a call from you asking for Jenny, didn't they? The call and respond phone number bit, and the one-hit wonder status of Tommy Tutone, get this song dismissed as 80s cheese by some, but if you listen to it, there's a really good guitar line to it. I wouldn't really call it "new wave" -- as members of the band have acknowledged, they were basically a bar band, and then one day the record label put skinny ties on them and they were new wave -- but whatever you call it, rock and roll, new wave, cheese, whatever... I still think this is an underrated song. Except for on my list, where it ranks at #20.
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19. Angel, Aerosmith You want a power ballad? How about the first big power ballad from the bad boys from Boston? The second hit off their comeback album "Permanent Vacation," Angel reached #3 and provided Aerosmith with what to that point was their highest appearance ever on the Billboard pop chart. And as for the band, let me just say that at one point, long ago, I could hit all the notes in this song... and girls liked this song, -- a lot! -- so I really don't care if you think it's one of Aerosmith's wussier efforts. Angel always treated me very, very well. And oh by the way? Surprisingly good three part harmony at the end of the song, when they're winding out of the song. No other power ballad ranked so high on my list... so if the quintessential 80s millieu or theme was the power ballad, then "Angel" by Aerosmith scores as my king of the genre: my favorite power ballad of the decade. Overall, it's ranked #19 (and since that was my basseball number and is still my favorite number, it's only fitting).
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18. Bark At The Moon, Ozzy Osbourne The Prince of Darkness scores his highest ranking on my countdown with this, the title track of his third solo album, from late 1983/early 1984. From its instantly recognizable opening guitar riff, to its horroristic/occultish theme (a werewolf-like thing that comes back from the dead -- "They cursed and buried him, alone with shame -- and thought his timeless soul had gone/in empty burning hell, unholy one... but he's returned to prove them wrong -- so wrong."), to the kick-ass guitar solo in the middle by Jake E. Lee, everything about this song appealed to my 15 year old self: it was loud, it rocked, it would freak out any adults who listened to it, parents or otherwise... I loved it then, and still love it now. (Oh, and by the way... how come when Bram Stoker writes about unholy things that return from the dead, it's a literary classic... but when Ozzy sings about them, he's a satanic bad influence on our youth? It was that kind of hypocritical and fearmongering rejection of Ozzy that just jacked up his appeal to teenagers... we could consider his reputation just one more example of adult hypocrisy -- or at least I did.) Ozzy, his werewolf, and Jake E.'s solo end up at #18.
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17. Peace Sells... But Who's Buying? Megadeth Perhaps the single best "f**k off" anthem from the metal generation, "Peace Sells" is an angry tell-off of everyone who judged metal kids without knowing them, of everyone who thought they knew what metal fans were all about without having ever made the effort to actually talk to anyone or find out. But Dave Mustaine did it in such a sneering, metal way that he didn't seem like he was kissing anyone's tail in trying to make up to them -- his tell-off had just enough metal style to be funny and real to his fans. "Whaddya mean I don't believe in God? I talk to him every day! Whaddya mean I don't support your system? I go to court when I have to!" And one of my favorite lyrics ever -- both for its defiance and the sneering way Mustaine delivered it: "Whaddya mean, I couldn't be the President... of the United States of America? Tell me somethin' -- it's still 'We... the People, rrright?" In other words, just because you don't approve of me or my life, doesn't mean that I'm not just as good as you are, and you can kiss off for your superiority complex. Heh, heh. I'd like to walk down the aisle of some southern evangelical congregation with this song blasting.
Musically, this album proved emphatically that Dave Mustaine wasn't just that guy who got kicked out of Metallica for drug abuse -- he kicked ass in his own right. And both the opening bass riff and the guitar line from the chorus got adopted by MTV as the theme for their "MTV News" segments. And let's face it... beyond the sneering, defiant tone of the lyrics, it's just a kick-ass head-banging song. End of sentence. "Peace Sells..." is my favorite kiss-off song ever, and makes #17 on my top 134 of the 1980s.
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Comments
Megadeth.....great song, terrific band. Nice one, Mudge.
Speed metal rules!
Posted by: Marquette Hoops at August 21, 2006 10:42 AM
