August 25, 2006
Plutonian Payback
So the Inernational Astronomical Union has decreed that Pluto is no longer a planet -- thus undoing 75 years of science and astronomy teaching at every level from grammar to graduate school, and undoing the planetary meme we all learned as kids to remember the order of planets in the solar system: My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas. (Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. And sometimes Y.) So now what did my very excellent mom send us? Nine what? Did we get an empty envelope? A flaming bag of dog doody on the doorstep? What? And if she sent us nothing, she's not really a very excellent mother, wouldn't you say? I mean, what kind of very excellent mom doesn't send us anything? No care packages? No pizza? No nothing? Maybe it should be "My Vicious, Evil Mother Just Sent Us Nothing."
The ramifications of this move are staggering. Every science textbook in America is now wrong -- joining those in Kansas and Georgia, which have been wrong for years. Is the International Astonomical Union going to pay for the printing of all the new books? If not, and they're playing dine and ditch on us and sticking us with the bill, I say we wait for them after school and give 'em all atomic wedgies and noogies until they cry. This is what happens when you let nerds have conventions.
But what is perhaps most appalling is that no one seemed to take the Plutonians' feelings into account here. I mean, really... can we show a little sensitivity here? They're not "dwarf planets;" they are orbitally challenged planets. Why can't we show any kind of understanding of or compassion for the struggles of the orbitally challenged?
On a larger scale, however, we've got trouble. See, the Plutonians are reportedly none too pleased about having been demoted to "trans-Neptunian" status. Frankly, they're ticked off. I mean really, where does this stop? What if the Plutonians decide that Earth is not a planet? How would we feel? And what would they do if they decided we're not a planet anymore? WIll we have to deal with the leader of the Plutoninan insurgency?
Reports coming in say that the Plutonian is reputed to have said, "This makes me so angry!" And let me tell you, we don't want the Plutonians upset; those Uranium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulators are nasty buggers. I just hope Bugs Bunny isn't stupid enough to declare "mission accomplished," and that Daffy Duck doesn't dare the Plutonians to "bring it on."
And another thing... aren't we inviting interstellar ridicule? I mean, listen to this prediction from Mike Brown, the astronomer whose discovery of a sizeable object beyond Pluto's orbit sort of catalyzed this mess."There will be hundreds of dwarf planets," Brown predicted. He has already found dozens that fit the category.
Great. Just great. Now we live in the cosmological equivalent of Munchkinland, surrounded by hundreds of dwarves. If they start singing "Follow The Yellow Brick Road," I'm outta here.
Posted by Christopher at 07:30 AM | Comments (2)July 17, 2006
And Kissing Makes Your Face Explode
You're paying for religious right wing scare mythology and propaganda, did you know that?
Yep. Your tax dollars are going to "pregnancy centers" (read: christian right wing extremist propaganda centers) so they can knowingly and willingly lie to their clients, deliberately spreading misinformation designed to scare women who have unintended pregnancies.
Congressional aides, posing as pregnant 17-year-olds, called 25 pregnancy centers that have received some federal funding over the past five years. The aides were routinely told of increased risk for cancer, infertility and stress disorders, said the report, which was prepared for Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif.
In February 2003, a National Cancer Institute workshop concluded that having an abortion or miscarriage does not increase a woman's subsequent risk of developing breast cancer. The report from the Democratic aides also said the pregnancy resource centers provided false information about the mental health effects of abortion, telling the aides that it could cause severe long-term emotional harm. However, an American Psychological Association panel said, "Severe negative reactions are rare."
What's worse is that when these religious police were caught red-handed, they basically said 'we don't care that we're dispensing false information. We know it's false, and we don't have any intention of stopping.'
"This isn't about a medical statistic to us. We do post-abortion counseling every day," Ford said.
In other words, we know we're lying, but we know that the White House is in our pocket and cowering in fear while catering to our every whim. We know you can't touch us. So we're going to keep doing it and being right in your face about it. And most of all, we're going to make you pay for it. What do you think about that?
Typical right wing christian extremism... based in propaganda, no basis in fact, and blatantly against the law... and yet they don't care. What else did you expect?
Posted by Christopher at 09:38 PM | Comments (1)May 29, 2006
Hooray For Boobies
Courtesy of Mrs. Doc, here's a petition that I wanted to bring to your attention.
U.S. Senators Olympia J. Snowe (R-ME) and Mary L. Landrieu (D-LA) and U.S. Representatives Sue Kelly (R-NY) and Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) introduced The Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act of 2005. Among other things, the Act will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients und ergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the "drive-through mastectomy" where women are forced to go home hours after surgery against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.
The legislation is supported by the American Medical Association; American College of Surgeons; American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons; Association of Women's Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses; National Council of Jewish Women; Society for the Advancement of Women's Health Research; Susan G. Komen Foundation; Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization; and Families USA. In addition, LIfetime TV (you know them, they always run those "all men are terrible" made for TV movies) has sponsored a peititon on their website urging passage of the legislation.
Some of us in my blogging circle have been touched by this disease; some others will probably be touched in the future by it. We have a responsibility to support more humane and compassionate medical care for this devastating disease. On this blog I've supported the Blogging BoobieThon in the past; today, I'm asking for everyone to go sign this petition as well. Please do whatever you can -- including signing your name to support this legislation.
January 27, 2006
California Love
When it comes to policy, California often leads where the federal government is slow to act. It is California emissions standards that the automakers follow now, not the federal standards... a generation ago, California's Proposition 13 was the harbinger of the 80s mantra of tax cuts. Now comes a story that I sincerely hope is a harbinger of things to come around the nation and even the world: California has declared second-hand smoke to be a toxic air pollutant, equal to diesel fumes or arsenic.
The move comes on the heels of a report by the state's environmental health hazards board that draws direct connections between second-hand smoke exposure and cancer deaths. The report by scientists at California's Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment draws on more than 1,000 other studies of the effects of passive smoke. It blamed secondhand smoke for 4,000 deaths each year in California from lung cancer or heart disease alone. The most significant new finding is that young women exposed to secondhand smoke increase their risk of developing breast cancer between 68 percent and 120 percent. The disease kills about 40,000 women in the United States each year.
My feelings about cigarettes are well known; I've never been shy about them on this site. And I don't want to hear any of the apologist mantra about how it's an individual choice and that if people want to do it to themselves, it's their right. More stats from California: The panel's 2005 study found that about 16 percent of all Californians smoked, but 56 percent of adults and 64 percent of adolescents were exposed to second-hand smoke.
That's 16 percent of Californians choosing to deliberately expose more than half the population -- and nearly two-thirds of the state's children -- to known carcinogens. You know, if a large corporation knowingly exposed two-thirds of a state's children to known carcinogens, there'd be literally millions of lawsuits, billions of dollars in fines, and public outcry about the abuse of power from corporate America. And yet when a dwindling minority of smokers chooses to do the same, suddenly they want to talk about how it's their individual right? What? It's your individual right to poison me -- and hundreds of thousands of kids, and millions of people? How about we let it be my individual right to discharge a fire extinguisher in your face any time I see one of those things in your mouth?
I say bravo, Calfornia. Hopefully the state's move is only the first among many states -- or, once there's a new administration less hostile to the environment and air quality, even including the federal government. Take a deep breath, Californians. You've earned it.
Posted by Christopher at 07:32 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBackDecember 18, 2005
Breast Cancer Awareness
I've been a supporter of breast cancer charities for a while. I try to give to the Susan G. Komen foundation at least once a year, and I even supported (and posted about) the BoobieThon this past October. (Of course, I contributed out of the goodness of my heart, and it had nothing to do with contributors getting access to the uncensored pictures.) My juvenile, typical male bantering about appreciating breasts aside, my support for breast cancer charities has been rooted in simple respect and love for the women in my life -- friends, lovers, family members, co-workers, and every combination thereof. I didn't need to have known anyone personally affected; it was just a cause I wanted to give to on principle.
Little did I know that eventually it would impact me personally.
As my cousin (and frequent Mudge commenter) "Cuzin Jose" mentioned in a comment over the weekend, his mother -- my aunt -- has just been diagnosed, and is about to begin her battle against the disease. (Jose, I did know before you mentioned it... just wasn't gonna say anything, because family business is usually private on this site; I'm posting because you mentioned it first.) She's a tough Irish lady and I've no doubt that she's gonna kick its ass, but every little bit of additional karma helps.
So -- whether you pray, meditate, send good vibes, rub crystals together, or whatever... if you wouldn't mind sending a few thoughts in the direction of Cuzin Jose's mom, I'd appreciate it. And please do consider the Komen foundation or a similar organization as one of your charities when you give. (This goes especially out to the men out there... guys, don't think it couldn't happen to one of the women in your world; give for your wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends.)
October 05, 2005
There's A Sucker Born Every Minute...
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, see the miracle before you! The Bearded Lady has managed to conceive! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! We're talking the most Immaculate Conception in 2000 years here... knocked up without ever laying down! bun in the oven even with no pilot light! a blessed event so miraculous, even God is going, "Now how'd I do that?" Step right up, step right up, and see the pregnant bearded lady!
Yes, kids... get ready for Jesus Cruise. Katie and her Svengali have announced that they're pregnant. And right now, somewhere there's a turkey baster smoking a cigarette and telling his friends, "Dude, she was so freakin' into it, man!"
Of course, while I don't wish depression on anyone, it would only be poetic if Katie developed a post-partum issue, now wouldn't it? I'm just sayin'.
Posted by Christopher at 11:53 PM | Comments (1)September 21, 2005
Un-Lovely Rita
As of about 10:00 tonight, Rita had intensified to a Category 5 hurricane, with sustained winds of 165 mph, and ranking already as the third strongest storm ever recorded in the Atlantic basin. On top of the Katrina disaster just three weeks ago, Rita could have a similar impact on Galveston or Houston -- and it appears that Rita will further devastate the oil industry's production and storage capabilities, which could drive gas prices closer to $4.00 a gallon.
Friend of Mudge and damn good blogger Pete over at A Perfectly Cromulent Blog lives in Houston, and is right in RIta's path. The last update from some of his local commenters would seem to indicate that Pete, "The Wife," and their daughter (She Who Shall Not Be Named) headed for higher ground earlier this afternoon. For those of you who've ever taken my recommendation and read Pete's blog, just thought you'd want to know.
As for the hurricane itself, it would appear that many scientists (you know, those pesky people who keep bothering the Bush adminstration with annoying little things like scientific fact) are giving credence to the theory that the frequency and intensity of storms may well be being caused by global warming. Think maybe Kyoto deserves a second look, perhaps?
I've seen and heard a few Democrats talking about how suspicious they find it that Texas -- which just happens to be Bush's home -- seems to be getting better treatment than New Orleans did ahead of Katrina, something they want to blame on Bush. Don't get me wrong -- you know how much I like to blame Bush for things -- but I think that's unfair. While I want to see FEMA's anemic response to Katrina, and Bush's appointment of an unqualified crony to direct it -- fully investigated, I think it's good that the government appears to be learning from the egregious mistakes made three weeks ago. We on the left have spent weeks (justifiably) hammering Bush and his administration for their Katrina mistakes... now when RIta is coming, are we really suggesting that we want those mistakes repeated just because it's Bush's home state that's impacted now? I didn't think so.
To anyone in Rita's path... be careful, get out of its way, and good luck -- I'll keep you all in my thoughts.
Posted by Christopher at 09:32 PM | Comments (1)August 14, 2005
All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster!
This is priceless, just priceless. Someone's written a response to the chuckleheads on the Kansas school boards (and by extension, to Zippy the Born-Again Wonder Chimp down in Crawford), proposing an alternate "intelligent design" theory.
Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel.
Oh, I love where this is going. And just like The Simpsons, Beavis and Butthead or South Park, once you get past the surface level parody, there's some brilliant social commentary underneath.
...it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power.
I am crying right now, I am laughing so hard. After going on to present a paragraph on how scientists measure evolutionary "evidence," the guy continues:
But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.
You see what's happening here, right? The exact same arguments are made by proponents of Intelligent Design (including your president, Red Staters) - it's just that they substitute the biblical supreme being for a flying spaghetti monster. Somehow, they expect it to be more plausible when they present it.
The rest of the open letter is a wicked skewering of the joke that is the push to teach Intelligent Design in our schools. This is one of the funnier, if not dead-on accurate, satires of the extreme evangelical right wing in a long time. (It'd be even funnier if that wing hadn't completely and utterly taken over the Republican party at this point, and these extremist views weren't so close to actually becoming policy.)
I'm counting myself in. I am a child of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Posted by Christopher at 10:51 AM | Comments (7)August 10, 2005
Ya Think?
I wasn't even sure how to react when I saw this headline. Maybe incredulity is the right word.
"Jennings' death prompts smokers to quit." Really? Because that was their first inkling that smoking might be bad for you? 40 years of warning labels, the deaths of people like Yul Brenner, Rod Serling, Beach Boy Carl Wilson, Roger Maris, the Marlboro Man, a slew of other famous people, and 447 Americans every day didn't clue them in?
In an online testimonial, a female smoker writes, "I guess my wake up call was Peter Jennings' death."
That's a little like someone saying about car crashes, "I guess my wake up call was Princess Diana's death," or "I guess my wake up call was John Candy's death" about obesity. Really? Wow. Einstein, Gallileo, Fermi and Marie Curie had nothing on this lady.
The government's been putting warning labels on cigarettes since 1965; since the 1980s these warnings have specifically stated that smoking causes cancer. If these people need someone famous to die to wkae them up to something that's stared them in the face every day, well... remember that whole thing Darwin was saying about survival of the fittest?
MSNBC's Keith Olbermann writes here about his own experience; I'll simply echo it. If you smoke, please quit. No, not "please" quit. Just quit. Dammit.
Posted by Christopher at 09:21 PM | Comments (5)May 11, 2005
You Know What They Say About Fish With Big Fins...
I don't know how to even begin to report this story without getting myself into trouble or opening myself to a comment field day from the peanut gallery. So I'll just tell you that scientists have apparently determined that male mosquitofish with larger sex organs have much greater success rates in attracting female mosquitofish than males with average sized fish sexual appendages.
The study was done on mosquitofish, which are like guppies. They're only about an inch long. That's body length. For the appendage, we're talking millimeters. Nonetheless, biologist Brian Langerhans of Washington University in St. Louis managed to put a tape on 350 male mosquitofish. Langerhans took pictures of the gonopodia to measure their outlines."The organ is quite obvious, even on such small fish," he told LiveScience.
Wow. That must have been a hell of a morning in the Wash U biology lab, the day Brian Langerhans decided he wanted to measure fish dicks. And is it just me, or does Mr. Langerhans seem just a little too enthusiastic about his "quite obvious" observations?
Data in hand, Langerhans exposed about 50 females, one at a time, to video images of a male of average proportions at one end of an aquarium and an outsized male at the other end."They chose the larger one over and over," Langerhans said. "All females had the same preference."
I can see it now... on this week's Sex In The Aquarium, Sa-Manta tells Marlin-da, Char-lotte, and Carrie all about the mosquitofish she's dating with the huge gonopodia, followed by a discussion of red snapper.
Posted by Christopher at 09:46 PM | Comments (0)
