October 18, 2006
An Exercise In Narcissism: The 100 Things Meme
Between the fact that I am extremely narcissistic, and the fact that I could sooner chop my right arm off at the elbow than resist a meme, it's a miracle that I haven't done the "100 Things About Me" meme yet. But seeing as how I am traveling this week and need to give you something to bide the time between my Worst Bands posts, I thought I'd indulge the narcissism and finally give in to the 2002-era 100 things meme. If you're really that interested (and I can't imagine that you would be), my 100 Things are beneath the jump.
Am flying to California this afternoon. I'll have time to drop the Worst Bands posts up on Thursday and Friday, then will probably go dark for the weekend. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars, kids. And don't forget the 100 things below the jump.
1. I was born in Jersey City, New Jersey, in 1968. We left when I was 6 months old. I have been back precisely once since moving to the tri-state area in 1999.
2. I have no hometown. I grew up in Minnesota, but have now lived in four states plus the District of Columbia since leaving there. If asked, I still consider D.C. “home.”
3. My younger brother lives in Africa. I’m proud as hell of him and will be visiting him for two weeks in 2007.
4. When I was a kid, we had a black cockapoo named "Smokie."
5. I didn’t have my growth spurt until the summer between 9th and 10th grade; in junior high I was a little guy, maybe 5’5” and 125 pounds at the end of the 9th grade. When I showed up three months later for high school at 5’10” and
155, people couldn’t believe it was me.
6. I could read at 3, and could read most of the front page of a newspaper by the time I started kindergarten.
7. I think The Electric Company was the apex of children’s television programming, and everything since then has been increasingly crap.
8. I watched Land of the Lost religiously as a kid. But if they make a movie out of it I will hurt somebody; some things are best left to memory.
9. When I was 2, I was jumping on the sofa, fell off, and hit my head on the corner of the coffee table below. To this day, there is a noticeable and kind of gross dent in the back of my skull.
10. For this reason, I cannot ever shave my head despite my encroaching male pattern baldness.
11. My thinning hair bothers me less than my expanding waistline.
12. At one point, I was a very fit athlete; later in life, I was in the Naval Reserves and was “military fit.”
13. Remembering how I used to look has made me exceedingly sensitive to my late-30s paunch, and I believe myself to be fatter than I probably really am.
14. I’ve ripped up the ACL in my left knee twice. I’ve now torn the menisci in my right knee twice.
15. I believe that I am much too young to have decimated knees, and have considered looking into knee replacement surgery.
16. I love baseball more than life itself.
17. While I am a die-hard Red Sox fan, I love baseball so much that I’d watch a Royals-Devil Rays game over anything else on TV.
18. I live a very unscheduled, go-with-the-flow, unstructured kind of life. Structure bothers me, and overly structuring me is a good way to get me to go bat-spit crazy on you in a hurry.
19. I am an ENFP. Bet you’d never guess that I was an extrovert or could at times seem directionless, huh?
20. I scored 800/800/740 on my GRE exams. The 740 was in math. True to my perfectionist nature, I was pissed about the 740.
21. I can find the sick humor in almost any situation.
22. I laugh at other people’s misfortune probably a little too much.
23. I have a cat whom I rescued from the street at the pleas of my then-girlfriend. Three months later she was gone; six years later I still have the cat.
24. I haven’t read an actual, physical newspaper in at least a couple of years; I read online sites (CNN.com, WashingtonPost.com, etc.)
25. I sort my M&M’s by color when I eat them; I alphabetize my CDs and DVDs on the shelf, and my spices have to go in their prescribed places in the spice rack (i.e., the jar of oregano must be in the slot labeled “oregano”). Despite this, I do not consider myself OCD.
26. I do, however, think and converse in lists. The tendency I have on this blog to come up with lists of things is reflective of my larger tendency, when comparing options or making arguments, to organize my thoughts in lists.
27. I get this idiosyncrasy from my father.
28. I still love cartoons; everything I know about opera, I learned from Bugs Bunny.
29. I hate myself in photos and can count on the fingers of one hand the number of good photos of me that have ever been taken.
30. If I were to have a tragic band saw accident and mangle my hand, losing three fingers in the process, I would still be able to count of the fingers of that hand the number of good photos ever taken of me.
31. My first job was at a Spencer’s Gifts when I was 16.
32. The first thing I ever did as a paid, working adult was unpack and put price tags on a box of vibrators.
33. For a long while, I had a major thing for Britney Spears, until she went all trailer park.
34. Despite her trailer-park status, I would still leap at the chance for one night with her. I’m sick that way.
35. I am an unabashed and unapologetic liberal.
36. I have become so polarized by the Bush Administration that I genuinely find it difficult to talk to or remain friendly with anyone that I know still supports this administration and its policies.
37. I have become so polarized by 20+ years of the conservative right demonizing anyone who doesn’t agree with them that I genuinely find it difficult to talk to or remain friendly with anyone who self-identifies as a conservative. As far as I am aware, there are only two conservatives who I still consider real friends (yes, David, you are one of them).
38. I genuinely, honestly believe that Christian social conservatives pose a greater threat to our democracy and its traditions than do Osama bin Laden and al Qaida.
39. In the 1990s, I worked for a government organization that focused on the assassination of President Kennedy.
40. After having spent three years on that job and reviewing all the classified files and evidence, I still have nothing more than a slightly educated guess as to what really happened that day.
41. I do think, however, that the Warren Commission got it wrong; I think there were five shots. Just don’t ask me where the other two came from or who fired them; I don’t know.
42. I am obsessed with disasters and assassinations. The History Channel is the greatest invention in history.
43. I watch Star Trek: The Next Generation in reruns. I watched it weekly in first-runs. I do not watch any of the other Star Trek series.
44. I find watching golf on TV roughly as interesting as watching paint dry.
45. I don’t much care for the New York area. No place is for everyone, and this is just one of the ones that’s not for me.
46. If I had the opportunity to leave this area due to a job – either one for my current company or from another employer – I would take it.
47. I have been saying this for more than five years and haven’t gone anywhere yet, so the odds of my actually leaving New York are slim and decreasing with every passing year.
48. If I won the lottery, I would quit my job the next day, move to the islands, and open a tiki bar. Or captain a charter fishing boat. Whatever I did, it would involve Caribbean islands, lots of Tommy Bahama tiki shirts, and many coconuts.
49. My favorite countries I have visited are Spain, England and Italy.
50. I was not smitten with Paris. I was and remain smitten with Madrid.
51. Or all of Spain, really.
52. I failed my first driver’s exam. Twice.
53. I love to cook and am damn good at it.
54. My favorite kind of cuisines are Middle Eastern/Mediterranean: Lebanese, Turkish, Greek, Afgahni. I also like Vietnamese, Thai, and Malaysian.
55. I am not all that hot for Japanese, Chinese, or Mexican food. And Indian food usually gives me nasty indigestion.
56. My favorite vice food is hot dogs; I am physically incapable of declining or walking away from them.
57. No, I don’t care what they’re made of.
58. I will only eat mushrooms cooked, not raw.
59. I will only eat carrots raw, not cooked.
60. This inconsistency in my produce section eating habits does not bother me.
61. I love breakfast foods: bacon, eggs, pancakes, omelettes, home fries, sausage.
62. Despite this, I almost never eat breakfast. There’s never time.
63. I like fruity alcoholic drinks. This does not make me girly, fluffy, or any other euphemism.
64. I also like scotch and vodka. Happy now?
65. I am deathly allergic – as in, take my ass to the hospital right this second or I might not make it – to tequila.
66. I hate cigarettes. Hate them. Hate their smell, hate the way they look, hate their effects.
67. Despite this, I don’t mind cigars; in fact, I enjoy them.
68. While I am greatly annoyed by hypocrisy in others, I can rationalize or at least tolerate it in myself.
69. I cannot tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. I have always aspired to date a woman who could.
70. I have a thing about feet, as in I don’t like them.
71. I once spent two hours sitting naked in a girl’s shower stall with my clothes at my feet, because her parents came home early on a Saturday night from what was supposed to be their long weekend away. I needed an emergency place to hide, and I was afraid that even the noise of putting on my underwear would give my location away to her father, who was sitting and talking with his daughter in the nearby living room. When the parents finally went to their rooms and to sleep, I dressed and snuck out the front door.
72. I have an overly flirtatious personality and flirt with almost everyone – when it doesn’t matter and I am just having fun. When it matters and I actually really hope the woman is interested in me, the flirty part of me completely shuts off and I become stupid shy.
73. I got my heart shattered when I was 26, and was never the same after it. I have never really completely trusted anyone ever again.
74. This woman-inflicted quirk has negatively impacted most of my relationships since.
75. It also proved to be a wise approach to life, as most of the women I have been in long-term relationships with have cheated on me.
76. I do not believe in astrology, though I do concede that some of the descriptions of my sign (Cancer) are accurate.
77. I do choose to hold forth the presumption that numerology is real, mostly because when you do the numbers out, my name indicates uncommon greatness and leadership. Any belief system that suggests I am to be a great leader of humanity is allowed to be real.
78. I am fascinated by weather and natural phenomena; I have seen a tornado at a quarter mile and, despite the Katrina tragedy, I find the idea of personally witnessing a hurricane coming ashore.
79. One of my ideal vacations would be spending a week storm-chasing in Tornado Alley.
80. I have a paralyzing phobia about high bridges. I avoid them whenever possible, and when it’s not and I have to go over one, I break into a drenching, cold sweat and hyperventilate.
81. I do not have even a minor shred of morning person in me. I hate waking up in the morning, and I am always groggy and half-functioning for the first couple hours after I’m awake.
82. I have the uncanny ability to not just hit snooze, but physically reset the alarm for later, without actually realizing that I’ve ever been awake, and sleeping much longer.
83. Because of this, I have to set my alarm clock for about 90 minutes before I actually have to get up, so that I do not oversleep.
84. This tactic is not always successful.
85. My favorite candy is jelly beans. The black ones are excluded; I hate licorice or anything that tastes of it.
86. Of all the home chores, the one I hate most is laundry.
87. I do not have a Home Depot card and can count on my fingers the number of times I have ever shopped there.
88. I have so far been to 36 U.S. states plus the District of Columbia.
89. The only east-of-Mississippi states I have not yet been to are Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, and Tennessee.
90. I have no raging desire to visit three of those four.
91. The professional success I’ve found in the past 18 months has inflated my ego to levels barely tolerable by me, and so I find myself going out of my way to be self-deprecating or otherwise act like I don’t have one.
92. This strikes some as obsequious false modesty, and others as low self-esteem.
93. They’re both right, as odd as that may sound.
94. It does not speak well of me, but in general I tend to look down on most of humanity, and consider most people to be merely users of my oxygen.
95. Despite knowing that I am a snob, I doubt I could change it. Besides, it is my smug superiority complex that allows me to have the snark that makes this blog fun to read.
96. I think that along with IQ tests, intelligence can be measured by whether one is a fan of NASCAR or not.
97. It’s almost impossible to offend me or tick me off at you. But once you have, I hold grudges for roughly 7,971 years.
98. I think comment spammers are the lowest form of pond sludge life on this planet, and I don’t believe that a sufficiently cruel and inhuman torturous method of death has been devised for them. The “Zed from Pulp Fiction” treatment would be a good first step.
99. I hate people who forward e-mail chain letters and wish them bodily harm.
100. The world really does revolve around me. The sooner you accept this, the better we’ll get along.
June 05, 2006
Jill's Meme
Because as you know I can't resist the damn things... it's an OCD thing, perhaps. Anyway, this one's from Jill.
1. What curse word do you use the most? Without a doubt, it’s the F word. Noun, verb, adjective… it’s such a versatile word. I also tend to use a certain insult quite often… the one about vacuuming roosters. Which makes no sense to use as an insult, actually -- since we men are so gosh-darn thrilled about the act itself, why would committing said act be an insult? Where's the logic in calling someone that when we're unhappy with them? I mean, if... um, anywhoo…
2. Do you own an iPod? Finally got my first one for Christmas; got the video one, though… so when I did it, I did it right.
3. Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most? While I get MySpace’s appeal to others, I don’t and won’t do it.
4. What time is your alarm clock set for? Once I finally fall asleep, I sleep so soundly that I have the uncanny ability to roll over and hit snooze about 8 times without ever waking up enough to realize that I’ve done it. Thus, I have to set my alarm about an hour before I really do need to be awake. So, my alarm clock is set for 5:30.
5. What color is your room? Standard apartment coloring; cream-ish walls, beige carpeting.
6. Flip flops or sneakers? I grew up in the Midwest; we talk differently. Are you asking me ‘sandals or tennis shoes?’ Until a couple of years ago I would have answered with the Nikes, but Florida converted me to being a sandals wearer.
7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take the picture. I’d rather play creatively with the composition of the shot, and besides there hasn’t been a good photograph taken of me in 25 years at least. I don’t photograph well.
8. What was the last movie you watched? In the theater? Probably “Walk The Line” -- I never go to movie theaters anymore. On DVD, probably “Good Night and Good Luck.” On a plane, it was a tragically sanitized version of “Caddyshack.”
9. Do any of your friends have children? Almost all of them. I think I only have a couple of friends who have not yet kicked out an ankle-biter or two.
10. Has anyone ever called you lazy? I call myself lazy on a daily basis. No sense hiding from the truth.
11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? As an insomniac, I would inject horse urine if I thought it would help me fall asleep faster. As it stands, Tylenol Simply Sleep occupies a place of honor in my nightstand.
12. What CD is currently in your CD player? One I burned off my iTunes playlist to have in my car. (I hardly ever listen to CDs anymore outside of the car, I’m an MP3 guy.) Among the artists on said CD are The Raconteurs, Pearl Jam, Michael Penn, and Snow Patrol.
13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Neither. I’m lactose intolerant.
14. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Of course. And for $100, I’ll tell you what it was.
15. Have you ever given someone a hickey? Not since high school.
16. Who was the last person to call you? Probably my brother, who was trying to find out if I’d arrived in DC yet this weekend.
17. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?I’d be rather naïve to think that in the corporate world, people weren’t talking about me behind my back, now wouldn’t I?
18. Did you watch cartoons as a child? As a elementary school child, it was Looney Tunes, Scooby Doo and the old Tennessee Tuxedo/Underdog shows. As an adult child, it’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force (number one in the hood, G!) and the Simpsons.
19. How many siblings do you have? One brother, two years younger than me.
20. Are you shy around the opposite sex? Only when it counts. I can playfully flirt for fun with the best of them… but I get flustered when I really am interested in someone specific.
21. What movie do you know every line to? I’m a guy; we memorize movies like we forget anniversaries. Among the ones I am most prone to sprinkle into my conversations, though, are “Caddyshack,” “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and “Bull Durham.”
22. Do you own any band t-shirts? Metallica/Dysfunctional Family Picnic 2003, Van Hagar 2004. When Tim and I do our relive-the-teenage-head banging concert every summer, I usually get a shirt.
23. What is your favorite salad dressing? Ranch, maybe, or blue cheese.
24. Do you read for fun? Do you sniff to smell?
25. Do you cry a lot? No.
26. Who was the last person to text message you? I hate texting with the scorching heat of 1000 white hot suns. I refuse to engage in it or to even acknowledge a text message.
27. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Laptop.
28. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo? I’d really like to go get a tattoo. Maybe this summer.
29. What is the weather like? Mercurial, a little precocious, and very droll.
30. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Covered in them? Perhaps not. But a strategically placed tat or two is hot.
31. Is sex before marriage wrong? Only between the best man and the bride.
32. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Do air mattresses on the floor count? If you mean actually on the floor, I think it would have been like May 2001, when spending a few days back in Boston with Dave and Damian at Stover’s place.
33. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? Seeing as how I rarely fall asleep before 2 am, I’ve been getting by on about 3-4 hours of sleep a night for years.
34. Are you in love or lust? Love is just lust strong enough to make you put up with the other person’s s*it.
35. Are your days full and fast-paced? Who wrote this question, Up With F***in' People?
36. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Not really. That would imply that I had either the time or the discipline to read the labels. Actually, when I do read the labels, I’m looking for sodium content or fat content.
37. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 38. Anyone saying “happy birthday” to me will be drawn and quartered.
38. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? Mostly, yes. The occasional typo on a blog entry doesn’t bug me, but the deliberate misspelling of words that has resulted from texting/IM culture drives me bat-spit crazy. As for grammar, I am one of those people who has to bite his tongue to keep from correcting people’s grammar when they butcher it.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? No. Not really the amusement park type, I guess.
40. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? Equally, I think.
41. Do you like cottage cheese? To me it’s just spoiled milk.
42. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? Mostly my back.
43. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? My autographed baseball collection has been compiled mostly on eBay.
44. Do you enjoy giving hugs? For better or worse, I am a hugger.
45. What song did you last sing out loud? “Why" by Jason Aldean. I'm a country fan. Sue me.
46. What is your favorite TV show? It was “The West Wing” until Sorkin left. Now I guess I’d say “Scrubs.”
47. Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with? Lunch, huh? That’s all it gets to be, is lunch? What fun is that? Fine. Then I’ll talk writing with F. Scott Fitzgerald.
48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Every time I go up on stage in front of some conference, I have a few butterflies. It’s healthy; if you didn’t have ‘em when speaking in front of people, you’d be too confident.
49. What one thing do you wish you had? Kevin Federline’s wife? Nah, too trashy. I’ll just go with ‘a winning lottery ticket for $190 million.
50. Favorite lyrics? Pretty much the entire song “Black” by Pearl Jam.
Posted by Christopher at 08:02 PM | Comments (6)April 01, 2006
Jill's Music Meme
Tag, I'm it! Jill has tagged me and also challenged me to respond before I head out. And seeing as how a) I am doing a few posts tonight to fill the blog while I'm in Italy; and b) I can't resist a damn meme, I have complied.
The challenge is to answer the following questions using only the song titles of your favorite musician/band. While I have way too many favorites to narrow it down to, across several genres, I decided to use Green Day in this effort. So, Jill, I have thus fulfilled your challenge below:
Are you male or female? Disappearing Boy
Describe yourself: Walking Contradiction
How do some people feel about you: American Idiot
How do you feel about yourself: Havin’ A Blast
Describe your ex: Good Riddance
Describe your current significant other: All By Myself
Describe where you want to be: Holiday
Describe how you live: Burnout
Describe how you love: Nice Guys Finish Last
What would you ask for if you had just one wish: I Want To Be On TV
Share a few words of wisdom: No One Knows, Road To Acceptance
Now say goodbye: Westbound Sign
February 26, 2006
Corey's Long-Ass Meme
My friend Corey is virtually as prone on his blogs to memes as I am. (He's forgiven because he's gut-ing up and running Philadelphia with us on November 19... anyone else who wants to run either the marathon or the 8K with Doc, Tim, Corey, Beav, Erika and I should say so in the comment fields or via e-mail... 2006 is the year we all get back into fighting trim and running shape, kids.) Usually he puts one up and, true to form, I can't resist the damn things and I end up doing them too. But last week Corey posted a special meme: the longest freaking meme in the history of meme-dom. I mean, the thing went on forever; filling it out, you feel like you're applying for a security clearance.
It took me a week to find/make time to fill it out. And I am not foolish enough to think that any of y'all give a rat's tuckus about it. But since I am OCD on these damn things and can no sooner resist a meme than Michael Jackson can resist 12 year old boys, here it is. (And no, it does not end with the 35 things... it keeps going, and going, and going... its mascot is a pink freaking bunny.) And Corey... I will get you back, pal.
35 things about ME:
1) How old do you wish you were? Could I know what I know now? If so, 19. If not, what’s the point of doing it again?
2) Where were you when 9/11 happened? Driving to work on the Sprain Brook Parkway
3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Usually cuss and press the return button multiple times -- because it’ll work the 7th time instead of the first six, right?
4) Do you consider yourself kind? Yeah.
5) When you see a homeless person on the side of the road, what do you think? If I knew for sure that you really were homeless, I’d probably give you money.
6) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Pec or upper arm/shoulder. Haven’t decided yet. (Mrs. Doc, didn’t we have a deal that we were both going to go get one done? Like as soon as you were done being pregnant with your now-3 year old?)
7) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Probably Spanish. I know enough French to get by in Paris or Montreal. But Spanish I'll need for the US by the time I'm 45, not to mention that Spain is my favorite country and I'd like to be able to function more effectively there.
8) Do you know your neighbors? Barely. I keep to myself.
9) What do you consider a vacation? At least four days away from home and with no laptop, cell phone or Blackberry. No, not four days total out of 365; I mean four consecutive days.
10) Do you follow your horoscope? Not really, but I glance on my birthday.
11) Would you move for the person you loved? Have before. Would probably do it again; I never learn.
12) Are you touchy feely? Yes, I’m a hugger.
13) Do you believe that opposites attract? Attract, sure… but stick together? Not often.
14) Dream job? Either doing “Weekend Update” on SNL or being the play-by-play guy for the Boston Red Sox.
15) Dream car? Aston Martin Vanquish S
16) Favorite channel? Probably the History Channel, but I don’t watch a lot of TV
17) Favorite place to go on weekends? Terra Blues! Or any shore/ beach.
18) Showers or Baths? Showers.
19) Do you paint your nails? No
20) What do you like the most about yourself? I can sort of write kinda good.
21) What do you like the least? I make excuses too easily about not staying in shape. That changes this year.
22) Do you trust people easily? No. You're lucky I trust you to even be on this site right now.
23) What are your phobias? Heights, especially bridges. Big ones (like the Verrazano or Golden Gate) leave me curled in a fetal position on the floor or backseat (and no, I can't drive over them).
24) Do you want kids? Yes, I think so.
25) Do you keep a handwritten journal? Nope. This blog is as far as I go.
26) Where would you rather be right now? Turks & Caicos, the Costa Blanca in Spain, or pretty much anywhere else in the Caribbean.
27) Who would you like to be more honest with? I’m pretty much honest with everyone.
28) Who makes you feel guilty? No one, I don’t feel guilty about anything. Even my mistakes are mine to learn from, and I don't feel guilt.
29) Are you a heavy or light sleeper? I am on the Olympic Insomnia team.
30) Are you paranoid? No. Why do you ask? Who wants to know? Why are they asking you?
31) Are you impatient? With people I know, never. With strangers on a line somewhere or at a light that’s turned green, or who drive too slowly on the highway, very.
32) Who can you relate to? Anyone who‘s ever worked their way up from a blue-collar small town.
33) Would you ever have plastic surgery? Doubt it, but never say never.
34) Would you ever break the law? Of course.
35) Do you believe in the afterlife? An electric word, afterlife - that means forever, and that’s a mighty long time -- but I’m here to tell you!…
(more)
LIFE
they call me: Christopher. If you’re gonna go with “Chris,” you’d better be really close to me.
status: single
occupation: blogger/podcaster/communications executive-type dude
best friends: Doc/Mrs. Doc, Tim/Mrs. Tim, Nancy, Jay, Dave, Damian
REWIND
my first breath of air: 1968. No, you don’t get to know the day
most memorable memory: There’ve been so many… maybe the CBGB night with Doc/Tim
worst memory: August/September 1994
LOVE
love is: a fool’s errand, but we all keep buying into it, don’t we?
love or lust: lust
when love hurts you: Why act surprised? That's what love is for.
is there such thing as love at first sight: No, but there’s lust at first sight that can quickly turn into love
OPPOSITE SEX
turn ons: intelligence, confidence, bawdy sense of humor, eyes, derriere
do your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you: Yes, but not enough to impact my choices
what kind of hair style: whatever she is most comfortable/confident in, but I do tend to like longer hair
where do you go to meet new people: wherever
PICKY PICKY
cat or dog: both/all; I am a softie for all animals
short or long hair: Used to be long. If I could still get away with it, it would still be longish.
rain or shine: Rain; I love storms
sun or moon: Moon
one best friend or ten acquaintances: ten acquaintances
summer or winter: Autumn
playstation or nintendo: PlayStation
car or motorcycle: car
house party or club: Club mostly, but it depends on whose house
LATELY
how are you today: fine and dandy
what pants are you wearing right now: Levis 505 jeans
What shirt are you wearing right now: black Ten Year Vamp t-shirt
how is the weather right now: Cold as an ex's... it's like 19 degrees out.
last person you talked to on the phone: Some stupid telemarketing (freak)
last dream you can remember: Last night I dreamed I won $1,000,000 on some game show
who are you talking to right now: No one
MORE ABOUT YOU
what are the last four digits of your phone number: 0827
if u were a crayon, what color would you be: Raw Umber
what's the next cd you are going to buy: I don’t buy CDs anymore, just mp3s
what's the best advice ever given to you: Be yourself
have you ever won any special award: CINE and TELE awards in 2003 for a corporate video i co-wrote/executive produced
how many kids do you want to have: a few… 2 or 3 maybe? I dunno, it kinda depends on circumstances and what the woman in my life thinks, don't you think?
shampoo: American Crew
how many TV's do you have in your house: 1
do you have your own TV: duh
who do you dream about: like I’m giving you all fodder on this one?
who do you tell your dreams to: pretty much no one
who's the loudest friend you have: Either the Goths or Beav (but I got nothin' but love for ya)
who's the quietest friend: Nancy
HAVE YOU EVER
drank: Of course
stayed in your pj's all day: Yup
left your state: At least once a week.
left your country: Yes
drank milk straight from the carton: Yeah, but I am lactose intolerant so I don't drink milk at all now.
tripped up the stairs: Yes
tummy ache: WTF kind of question is this? Tummy ache??
wished upon a star: No
had it come true: No
slapped someone: Yes
danced like a maniac: As a big white man, it does not behoove the world for me to dance. That said, when I do dance, do big white men dance any other way but like maniacs?
chased a butterfly: When I was a little kid
gone on a cruise: Not on like a Princess line or anything, but have done a few boat trips
driven a motor boat: Yep
put salt on a slug and watched it shrivel up: No, I can’t stand cruelty or pain to even the slightest of animals (except for like mosquitoes or things like that)
burned stuff just because: Yeah
been called a pyro: Only in jest
seen a ghost: Haven’t SEEN one but felt one there (not to mention pissing it off; it got me back)
had something published: Yes
written on money: Don’t think so
lost someone you cared about: Yes
ran away: Depends on how you define it. From home as a kid? No. From situations? Yes, it’s how I came to live out east.
punched a wall: Yes. Not to mention breaking my hand punching an 800 lb bale of packed and compacted cardboard boxes in the back room of the grocery store I worked in when I was 19. No, I wasn't very smart. No, she wasn't worth the frustration that led me to punch a cardboard bale and bust my hand up.
punched a person: Yes
talked to a street sign: I occasionally shout at traffic lights to turn already.
shopped at wal-mart for over an hour: I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart for even a minute.
been a hero: I don’t believe in heroes (or Beatles); I just believe in me.
taken a picture of yourself: I’m not a photo kind of guy
had a journal: What do you call a blog?
worn mardi-gras beads: No. Have delivered quite a few to those who've "earned" them though.
been to Mardi-gras: In Austin TX, but not New Orleans.
heard a damaging story about your parents when they were younger/or older: No. Sadly, all the evidence from outsiders seems to support my parents’ contention that they were angels. Which makes one wonder how the hell to explain me.
heard of blind melon: All I can say is that my life is pretty plain.
started a trend: Well, three people who read my blog are running Philadelphia’s 8K with me, does that count?
been to a rally (for a cause, not a pep-rally): Yes, reproductive rights rallies as well as those for a few political candidates
given up on your dreams: Never
had your dreams come true: I'm living the dream baby! Well okay, maybe not.
seen someone as your guardian angel: At work, yeah - I am lucky enough to have several. In life, no. I rely on me.
protested the national anthem by not standing when everyone else does: No
had a pen-pal: When I was a kid
met someone famous: have met two presidents (Carter and Clinton), one elected president who never took office (Gore), a dozen or two Senators and members of Congress, a few baseball players, and hung out drinking all night with George Clooney once.
gone out with one of your best friends: To borrow Corey’s words, “Out as in to a club or something? Like hanging out? Sure.” If you mean the other way, no comment.
put a message in a bottle: No
sent a telegram: No
received flowers: Yes
listened to a sea-shell: Yes
been stung by a jellyfish: Yes
been on tv: Yes - have done interviews for political campaigns, and I was on Jeopardy once (don’t ask!)
played tag when you were over the "acceptable" age: No
notice patterns in the time (11:11, 12:34, etc...): Yes
had your mom show off embarrassing baby pictures of you when your were little to your friends/boy/girlfriend: No. Mom wouldn’t do that to me… WOULD YOU MOM?
been arrested: No.
been put in jail: No.
been put on trial: No
re-named yourself: Shifted from “Chris” to “Christopher” when I moved east.
followed someone just because: No
been stalked: No
stalked someone: No
lived a day like it was your last day: Why would I do that? If it was my last day, I’d probably be like laying in bed with tubes up my nose or something.
had your 15 minutes of fame: It would seem that I may be in the middle of them right now.
been self-conscious: Occasionally
been in a band: Yes, lead singer for three years in college
started a band: No
sat and watched smoke float through the air: No
want to be somewhere with someone so much it made you cry: No
played a practical joke: yes
had a practical joke played on you: yes
PEOPLE THINK
my father thinks I am: Hard to understand and a little bit elitist, probably, although he's proud of me.
my mother thinks I am: Finally hitting my stride and figuring out life
my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks I am: Don’t have one right now. I do know that a couple exes lurk this blog who don’t think I know that they’re here… now that I have called them out, maybe they’ll enlighten you.
you are often complimented for: Being very smooth on my feet, my writing…
you get embarrassed when: I was in the pool! ;-) Seriously, I get mighty embarrassed by news articles that make me the face of the program I lead at work, when its success is due to the efforts of literally thousands of people.
what makes you happy: Beaches, baseball, being on stage, attention, peanut brittle, drawing to an ace flush on the river, and women.
upsets you: Conservatives and the way they think, and hypocrisy, and women.
November 17, 2005
Another Meme From Corey
You'd think that I'd have learned to suppress my patholigical, neurotic inability to avoid answering any damn meme I see out there on a friend's blog. You'd think that, but you'd be wrong. I still can't resist the freaking things. Corey put up another one -- a freaking long, 96 question one at that -- so if you're tired of me meme-ing you to sleep, go to his blog to kvetch.
1. Name: [Insert First Name] Christopher
2. Age: 37
3. Religion: raised Catholic, now a practicing member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
4. Single or Taken? Single. There's no such thing as "taken," only "not right now."
5. What does your name mean? Bearer of Christ. Yeah, I know - ironic, huh?
6. Height: 6'1
7. Nickname: Curmudgeon/Mudge
8. Name of a childhood stuffed animal: Teddy. I was a creative child, don't you think?
WHAT IS YOUR...
9. Computer: Compaq Presario
10. Describe your car - Hyundai Sonata LX
11. Living Situation: live by myself
12. Pets: One cat, J.D. Salinger. Had dogs when I was a kid and when I was in my 20s.
DO YOU?
13. Speak another language? French, and what I call "taxicab Spanish" - meaning I know just enough to get myself from the airport to my hotel, or to get a cab back to wherever I need to go without frustrating or angering the driver, when I'm in either Spain or Mexico.
14. Play a musical instrument? Sang in a band for a while, but I can only do basic guitar chords
15. Watch more than 2 hours of TV a day? Only on Free Late Night Cinemax weekends. I rarely watch TV anymore.
16. Wear grandma underwear (gals) or tighty whities (guy): Nope. Boxer briefs
17. Own an I-pod? Not yet, but that's going to be my gift to myself for Christmas.
18. Have a will? Am drawing one up now with a lawyer. Talk about a weird feeling.
HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Worn underwear of the opposite sex? Not.
20. Used a condom as a water balloon? Can't say that I have, but now I know my next trick in Corporate America's hallowed halls.
21. Slid down your stairs in a box, sleeping bag, or some sort of vehicle? WTF? Hell no.
22. Peed your pants in public? Not even in private
23. Pulled an all nighter? Partying? Yeah. Studying? Yeah. Working? Yeah.
24. Been stalked or stalked someone? Nope. Unless you count a one-time hiding out to catch someone in a lie "stalking"
25. Had more than 30 people at your house? Yes. Hell, in Boston, on 8 of the first 11 weekends of grad school, we had 30+ person bashes at the apartment. (Dave, I know you read this blog... vouch for me here, man.)
26. Tried to flush other things down the toilet besides the usual? Depends on what you consider the 'usual'. (I'll stick with Corey's good answer here)
27. Where do you want to go in Europe? I love Spain, it's my favorite country. Otherwise, I'd like to see Greece, and would love to get back to the UK when I'm not on business.
28. Talked to a stranger thinking they were someone you knew? I talk to strangers whether I know them or not. They give me candy. I like them.
29. Slept so long you forgot what day it was? Had mono for three months once; at its peak I would sleep 22 hours a day and have no sense which day it was when I was awake.
30. Been to a wedding in which you didn't think the two should get married? Hell, I've been in weddings where I didn't think the two should get married!
31. Tripped or fell in public? I meant to do that. Of course I have.
32. Misspelled your own name? Who can't spell their own name?
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT (answer in detail)
33. United States military in the Middle East: They're there based on lies and for Cheney/Bush's oil profits. However, I'm proud of every one of them, especially my Navy shipmmates.
34. Gay Marriage: Absolutely for it. Anyone whining about the "sanctity" of marriage hasn't checked the hetero record on it.
35. The Face book: I have no idea what the hell it even is.
36. Prayer in School: Don't even try it. That's what CHURCH is for. Schools are for learning.
37. Michael Jackson: Wow, I wish I could use Corey's line on this one - it's fantastic! Instead I'll just say: Disgusting sicko sonofabitch child molesting pedophile.
38. Our educational system: Too influenced & controlled by the Christian right, and too lenient in general
39. Desperate Housewives: I don't watch it. I don't even really think any of 'em are all that hot.
40. Myspace.com: Yawn. What's the freaking point?
FAVORITES...
41. Movie: Bull Durham, Shawshank Redemption, Tommy Boy, Silence of the Lambs, Caddyshack
42. Cartoon Character: Frylock from AquaTeen Hunger Force, Eric Cartman, Eeyore
43. Television Show: Used to be "The West Wing" before Sorkin left. Guess now I'd say CSI or Law & Order SVU. Or Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
44. Quote -- "In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors." -- Tina Fey
FAVORITES... (cont.)
45. Food: It used to be pizza, conch fritters, scallops, crab, hot dogs, ice cream, pad thai, BBQ pulled pork, and any combination of lamb, rosemary and gorgonzola. Can't eat most of that anymore. Maybe I still can have pad thai. And I'm a sucker for Middle Eastern food.
46. Drink: Vodka martinis, or scotch on the rocks
47. Book: The Great Gatsby
48. Sports Team: BOSTON RED SOX.
49. Band: Man... I dunno... Green Day? It changes with the songs I'm digging at the time.
50. Animal: pretty much all animals, but maybe dolphins
51. Actor/actress: Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor/Scarlett Johanson, Natalie Portman, Naomi Watts
DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
52. Love at first sight: Dunno that I'd call it "love."
53. Angels: Yes. They play in the American League West
54. The Devil: Yes. He's the Vice President of the United States
55. Ghosts: Yes
56. Reincarnation: Maybe
57. Heaven: I dunno, maybe, sure.
58. Hell: I'd like to believe in it, if only so that people like Pat Robertson, Timothy McVeigh, Fred Phelps and Dick Cheney have someplace to spend eternity.
THIS OR THAT (c'mon, tell us why too)?
59. So Cal or Bay Area: Bay Area - by far. San Francisco is one of my favorite cities on earth, and I have a lot of good friends in the South Bay/Silicon Valley area.
60. Coke or Pepsi: Coke.
61. The Simpsons or Family Guy: "The Simpsons"
62. Puffy or 2Pac: 2Pac. Puffy/Diddy is a great businessman and a horsemanure "artist." What he does can't even be called "sampling" -- it's pretty much outright ripoffing.
63. Canada or Mexico: Toughie... I love Canada, especially Vancouver -- and they have a far less uptight society than the US... but Mexico has Playa del Carmen and all those beaches... I'll call it a tie.
64. Reality TV or Reality: Reality. Reality TV is the stupidest invention in the history of television.
65. Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro: Do either one of them have more than one character?
66. IBM or Apple: Not a fair question.
67. Pro-life or Choice: Adamantly Pro-Choice
68. Pro-death penalty or not: It ought to be used more sparingly, but for people like McVeigh, or the guys who dragged James Byrd to death, or the Mohammed Atta's of the world, there absodamnlutely ought to be a death penalty.
69. 80s or 90s: 80s -- duh!
70. Greek or Roman: Greek
71. Reading or Writing: Writing
72. Grunge or Emo: Grunge. Phillips wasn't funny.
73. Photos or Paintings: Depends on the subject, I s'pose. I do like paintings though
74. Irish or Italian: Hard question to ask a guy who lives in NY. I guess Irish
75. Yankees or Red Sox: Are you freaking kidding me? One is satanic spawn, the other's from Boston. Easy choice for the RED SOX, baby.
77. Nike or Reebok: Reebok
78. Dreadlocks or Afros: Yeah, cuz I can grow both... I'll say dreads because Jamaica has beaches
79. Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson: Britney in a landslide. That pictorial's only a year off!
80. Action or Horror: Horror. I don't see creativity in blowing things up.
81. Blondes or Brunettes: Yes, please. I dunno - blondes usually turn my head quicker, but almost all of my relationships have been with brunettes. Go figure.
SOME RANDOM QUESTIONS...
82. Would you swish diarrhea in your mouth for a minute for a million dollars? This is a revolting question... besides, I'll be making my million on my own, either with a novel or a screenplay.
83. Give up a body part for money? Depends on which part and for how much. I'm not really using my appendix right now, so I can be bought.
84. Most attractive accent? Almost all of 'em. Aussie or Irish or even Southern Belle. (Least attractive accents belong to Brooklyn/Queens/Bronx, Chicago, and NASCAR)
85. What is your biggest pet peeve? 1) People who eat loud foods (potato chips, crunchy pretzels, wasabi peas, etc.) near me; 2) cigarette smoking
86. Toilet paper over or under? Under
87. Pimp your ride, what would you do to it? I kind of like my ride, I just bought it in late June. But if I was tweaking it up a little, I'd add some high-end speakers and a subwoofer.
88. Who would you meet from history? Bobby Kennedy, Malcolm X and John Lennon for their passion, commitment and ideals; Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill and Joan of Arc to learn their leadership skillls; Eleanor Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, Leonardo daVinci and Albert Einstein for their intellect; Stevie Ray Vaughan for his talent.
89. Travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? Spain, the Virgin Islands, Australia
90. Meet a leader of some sort, political, religious, etc, who would it be and why: Assuming this means currently living... John Edwards maybe, because I liked his message about the realities of life in the 'two Americas' (hated his debate performance though, and I think if he hired me I could make him President); John McCain, because I respect the guy both before and during his political career; and Bush, so I could slap him across the face for what he and his criminal administration have done to our country.
91. Have any dream job, what would it be: Either hosting "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live, being the owner/GM of a baseball team, or being a superstar musician (I'll front a rock band or put on a cowboy hat, move to Nashville and do country, either way is fine with me).
92. Have three wishes, what would they be? Jennifer Love Hewitt, Britney Spears and a can of Reddi-Whip? Um... I'd wish myself a lottery-level fortune,
93. Where do you think you'll be in five years, location wise: DC, the Bay Area, Raleigh, or back to south Florida... hopefully, just not in NY.
94. Do you want to get married (why/why not): Next. F-ing. Question.
95. If your spouse died, do you think you could remarry? I'm probably the wrong guy to ask about this one. Of course I could.
96. If you have kids, what would you name the boy and girl? Whoops and I'm Sorry? I mean, uh... Jack, Chase, Noah (m), or Sydney, Chloe, Cassidy. (f)
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